We live in a world, where being alone is something that scares us, that is why many time we lose ourselves, forgetting who we really are, being what we are not, in order to be accepted by others so we don’t have to face the dreaded solitude. But solitude is not something we should be scared of, but the opposite, as sometimes it is the best way to find ourselves.
If we pay attention to what is happening around us, we can discover just by looking at people and their relationship with others, that actually being alone could be a benefit for our soul and life rather than a drawback, and you might be wondering why? Why it would be a benefit? Because being alone makes us reflect, it allows us to discover ourselves, because it is in the silence of our solitude where we can hear our inner voice. Solitude takes out the best version of ourselves, and it makes us find who we really are.
By being alone we allow us to move away from the outside world, and so we begin to think for ourselves, we question things, we start to find answers to our deepest questions, and sometimes that can be really hard, because it makes us realize that we were wrong in a lot of aspects in our life, especially in our idea of who we really are. So we start to listen to our own soul, and suddenly we find what we were looking for, we find ourselves.
”It’s beautiful to be alone. To be alone does not mean to be lonely. It means the mind is not influenced and contaminated by society.’’ – Jiddu Krishnamurti
Nowadays one of the biggest problem we are facing is that we actually don’t know who we really are, we just are what others wanted us to be, we are a product of society, so we accept that reality, but deep inside our hearts we feel incomplete, like if something was missing in ourselves, and so we found ourselves in the middle of a battle between the reality of our mind and the reality of our soul.
The problem is that not being alone with ourselves is blocking us to be what we really wanted to be. The fear of being alone makes us have the necessity to be with others, so we are what others want us to be in order to not be alone, or we surround ourselves with people who make us feel more lost, empty and the worst thing is that we find ourselves more alone than before.
”Don’t be scared to walk alone. Don’t be scared to like it.’’ – John Mayer
So I learned, that there is no way that you can find what you have been looking for, if you don’t start by loving to be with your own company. Once you know yourself and you do the things you love, and above all once you start loving yourself more you will learn that solitude is something that gives you the opportunity to be who you always wanted to be, and do the things you ever wanted to be. You will discover that being alone gives you wings to dream and discover a completely new you, without being affected and influenced by others, then you will enjoy life more, and everything that you have ever dreamed of will come true.
If we could just learn to be alone, enjoying our own company, we would find how amazing we really are, and what can we actually do without needing anyone else to do it. Therefore, do not be afraid to be alone, because it is not a punishment but a blessing, take advantage of it, and do not be afraid to talk and laugh with yourself. Enjoy your own company, do what you love to do, travel to the places you have always wanted to go, listen to your favorite music, or read your favorite book. Sometimes to be alone is what we need, because when we are only with ourselves we are free, and we are not influenced nor controlled by society, and that way we can enjoy being our true self.
”I think it’s very healthy to spend time alone. You need to know how to be alone and not be defined by another person.’’ – Oscar Wilde
Learn to be alone, do not be afraid to be only with yourself, love the silence, love your own voice, enjoy your own company, and feel comfortable being with your own soul. Learn to separate yourself from people who don’t let you be yourself, people who don’t let you grow and evolve.
When you stop being afraid to be alone, looking its positive side, you will learn to enjoy every second alone, and you become wiser at the time of choosing the people to whom surround yourself with. You will take your time to choose the right people, with no rush, without having the necessity to depend on others.
”I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone, it’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel all alone.’’ – Robin Williams
We are going to be alone many times in our lives, either by choice, or because there will be no other choice, sometimes we will face it abruptly, and in that moment can be very painful, but in that solitude that is not absolute, because nobody can be really alone if we learn to love our own company, you will find your own voice, you will listen to your soul, you will enjoy your own company, you will find yourself, and you will discover that being alone was not something negative, but very positive. Solitude is a gift if we know how to take advantage of it. You can change your situation at any time, you must simply change the way you see life.
Learn to love your own company, enjoy every moment with yourself, and change your life!