It is not what happens to us but how we deal with what happens what shapes our life experience. The keyword is responsibility. And as boring as it sounds, it is the degree of responsibility we choose to take in our daily life decisions, the kind of thoughts we choose to have and, the kind of actions we choose to take what can truly change our life.
Throughout our life, we will be the victims of many unfair and unpleasant situations. We will face challenges, we will fail and we will be rejected, we might be humiliated, hurt, and we will have one hundred reasons to feel that the world is against us. Therefore, we will have one hundred reasons to feel sad, depressed, stressed, overwhelmed, and angry. However, an endless pity party will take us nowhere. The responsibility to take the control of our life by controlling our thoughts, feelings, and actions will take us to new and wonderful places.
When I was younger I tended to think that somehow the world and everyone in it was conspiring against me. That everyone was rude and mean to me. I always thought how difficult was to be myself and live in such a cruel world. In a way, I always blamed everything and everyone for the wrong decisions I took. Therefore, I made other people and situations guilty of my own failure. Today those thoughts changed. But, what has changed? Did people stop conspiring against me or the world became less cruel? Not exactly. What changed is the way I looked at the world. I took responsibility for my own life, and by doing so, I ceased being the victim of the circumstances by becoming the architect of my own destiny.
“When you think everything is someone’s fault, you will suffer a lot. When you realize that everything springs only from yourself, you will learn both peace and joy.” – Dalai Lama
Victims of circumstances
The thing is that you, me, and everyone can be victims of different life circumstances that are not entirely our responsibility. Circumstances that do not depend on our actions and that are entirely dependent on randomness, on other people’s decisions and attitudes, on culture, or simply human stupidity. And yes, we have all the right to feel victims and feel unhappy, depressed, lonely, and unworthy. But in the end, it is our responsibility to think, decide, and act in the best way possible to change our life around. In the end, no one can break, destroy or hurt our own minds as much as our own thoughts.
What we think and do, how we react, and how we choose to deal with what happened to us is entirely our own responsibility, even if other people, circumstances, and merely unfair life events are the culprits of our suffering. We have the responsibility to change our own thoughts, to choose a different path, to decide how we think and how we live our lives, and what to do with what was presented to us by life itself. Yes, this path is difficult, it requires learning, it requires effort, it requires us to stand up and move forward and fight exhaustion. However, this is the path that could possibly change your life for the better.
“The victim mindset dilutes the human potential. By not accepting personal responsibility for our circumstances, we greatly reduce our power to change them.” – Steve Maraboli
Changing your life
The key is to not let yourself become an indefinite victim of the circumstances, even if you have all the right to feel that way. And it is totally fine if you want to adopt that role indefinitely. But in order to move forward in life, feel better, improve yourself and achieve wonderful things you need to step out from that role and take responsibility for your own life. No matter what happened, it is important to do your best. Choose the best decisions that will bring you what you want and deserve.
If you want a better life, better outcomes, if you want to feel better or whatever is it that you want, but someone or something has stopped you from achieving what you wanted to achieve, or has stolen your happiness, or has limited you in any possible way, then it is time for you to take the responsibility for your own life. Go and create the life you want to experience even if it is difficult. It is you who can reprogram your brain and tell it yes, yes I can do this. Yes, I was beaten up, but I will not give up, and I will move forward no matter how hard it gets.
“In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.” – Eleanor Roosevelt
Accept full responsibility
When I decided to put an end to my self-pity party and took responsibility for my own life, my whole experience changed. It is not easy but you learn day by day, out of your own mistakes and failures. You develop new skills by facing challenges, by pushing the limits, by being punched in the face by life situations and people. That is how you evolve and you become the best version of yourself.
But again, you can still refuse to accept full responsibility and continue being a victim of the circumstances. I am sure you have good reasons to do so. I understand life can be cruel, unjust and that can be painful. But, there is another path if you wish to accept it. And out of my own experience, you could achieve wonderful things. Simply decide to take responsibility for your life. Make the kind of decisions that will create a better life experience.
Give it a try! There are better and more wonderful experiences than those you could have ever imagined.