On the road to becoming the best version of ourselves, honesty should be an important value to keep in mind. The problem is that we live in a society that rewards us for telling lies and punishes us for being honest. Telling lies has become a regular habit among human beings, and we have accepted it as valid behavior. Honesty is a value that we all praise, but it is often forgotten—it has become one of the rarest qualities in a person. But can we reverse this, or are we condemned to a life of lies? The answer is yes. Yes, we can! And it all depends on us.
Why have we buried honesty in oblivion? Is it to protect others, or is it to protect ourselves? Is it to be accepted by society? Or is it because of fear? Why is it sometimes so hard to be honest? Why are we so easily corrupted? Why do we quickly forget about honesty? I believe the main problem is that we have forgotten who we truly are and why we are really here. We have silenced the voice of our own souls, living the lie created by society. We were not born liars, cheaters, or fakes; we learned to be this way. They manipulated us; they distorted reality.
Since we were kids, we have been surrounded by lies. As children, they told us fake stories, tried to scare us with things that didn’t exist, and never explained why certain things were happening—they just tried to hide the truth with a nice little story. As we grew up, lies were almost everywhere. Lies on television, in magazines, in newspapers, people cheating each other, advertisements trying to sell us something with a lie, beautiful images of models, and fantastic products that never looked like they did in the pictures. Lies from politicians lie among friends, family, and colleagues—lies everywhere.
“If you tell the truth you don’t have to remember anything.” – Mark Twain
So, we learned to lie, and we accepted it as normal. Nowadays, cheating has become a common behavior. I’ve heard people say: “It’s life. It’s normal. People cheat, people lie, people are fake, and so are you.” And the classic: “If you can’t beat them, join them.” Well, I totally disagree with that. If we surrender to this world, which constantly tries to make us into something else, we lose who we indeed are. And if we are not ourselves, we are nothing—just bones covered with flesh, surviving in this world, waiting to die.
Nobody wants to be cheated. Nobody likes lies. So why don’t we start by being a source of honesty instead of lies? We can begin by being honest with ourselves. That’s where the lie begins. We don’t cheat others more than we cheat ourselves. Therefore, if we could learn to be honest with ourselves, we could be honest with others. This won’t stop others from being dishonest, but at least you will be true to yourself, uncorrupted by society—which is a great achievement.
“Every lie is two lies — the lie we tell others and the lie we tell ourselves to justify it.” – Robert Brault
But should we always be honest, even if it hurts others? Yes, but there could be some exceptions. We should strive to always tell the truth, but there may be moments when our truth doesn’t need to be revealed. To clarify, I’ll give an example: Imagine it’s your birthday, and someone gives you a gift you don’t like. Is it necessary to say, “Hey, thanks, but no thanks, this gift is really disgusting”? The truth is, honesty doesn’t mean being rude. You don’t have to lie and say it’s the best gift ever, but you can express gratitude for the thought behind it.
At the same time, honesty doesn’t mean you must go through life offering unsolicited opinions. Not everyone expects or needs to hear your thoughts. So, it’s better to stay quiet unless asked. If they ask, tell the truth—but without being rude. When the truth isn’t really relevant, and keeping it to yourself is more beneficial, that could be the exception. But don’t confuse this with lying to protect or avoid hurting others. A lie, sooner or later, will do more harm than the harshest truth.
“There is always a way to be honest without being brutal.” – Arthur Dobrin
Therefore, when honesty and kindness go hand in hand, they will never cause as much harm as a lie. The problem with lies is that the longer you wait, the bigger they become. We can’t go back in time and change what we did or said, but we can always choose to tell the truth. A lie never expires; it will always be there. And the only way to destroy it is with the truth. Do not be afraid of telling the truth, and be ready to accept it, even if it’s painful. The truth may hurt, but once you know it, you are free to reinvent your life, while living a lie will only convince you that the illusion is real, keeping you trapped in a fantasy.
Start being honest with yourself today. That’s the first step toward becoming the best version of yourself. Be kind, be gentle, and speak the truth to the people around you with compassion—not to hurt them but to free them. Not to destroy them, but to love them, even if they don’t love you back. Let’s embrace honesty and free our conscience from the torture of our lies!