On the road to becoming the best version of ourselves, honesty should be an important value to keep in mind. The problem is that we live in a society that reward us from telling lies and punishes us for being honest. Telling lies has become a normal habit between human beings and we have accepted it as a valid behavior. Honesty is a value that we all praise but it is normally forgotten, it has become the rarest value in a human being. But can we revert this or are we condemned to a life of lies? The answer is yes. yes, we can! and all depend on us.
Why we have left honesty buried in oblivion? Is it to protect others or is to protect ourselves? Is it to be accepted by this society? Or is it because of fear? Why is it sometimes so hard to be honest? Why we are so easy to corrupt? Why do we easily forget honesty? I believe the main problem is because we have forgotten about who we really are and why we are really here. We have silenced the voice of our own souls, living the lie created by this society. We were not born liars, cheaters, fake, we learned to be this way. They manipulated us, they distort reality.
Since we were kids we have listened to lies. When we were children they told us stories that were fake, they tried to scary us with things that didn’t exist, they never explained why something was happening, but they tried to hide it with a nice little story. As grown-up, lies were almost everywhere. Lies in the television, in magazines, in newspapers, people cheating each other, advertising trying to sell you something with a lie, beautiful images of models and fantastic products that never looked like in the pictures, lies from politicians, lies between friends, family, colleagues, lies everywhere.
“If you tell the truth you don’t have to remember anything.” – Mark Twain
So we learned to lie, we accepted it as normal. Nowadays, cheating has become a normal behavior. I heard some people saying: “It’s life, it’s normal, people cheat, people lie, people is fake, and so do you.” And the classic one: “If you can’t beat them, join them.” Well, I totally disagree with this quote. I believe that if we surrender to this world that constantly try us to be something else, we lose who we really, and if we are not ourselves, we are nothing, or we are simply bones covered with flesh surviving in this world, waiting to die.
Nobody wants to be cheated, nobody likes lies, so why we do not start by being a source of honesty instead of lies? We can begin by being honest to our own selves. That is where the lie begins, we do not cheat others more than we cheat ourselves. Therefore, if we could learn to be honest with our own selves, we can be honest with others. This won’t avoid others from being dishonest but at least you will be your true self, you won’t be corrupted by this society, and that is a great achievement.
“Every lie is two lies — the lie we tell others and the lie we tell ourselves to justify it.” – Robert Brault
But we should always be honest? Even if that hurts other people? Yes, but there could be some exceptions. We have to try to tell always the truth, but there could be moments when our truth doesn’t need to be revealed. To be more clear I will give you an example. Imagine that today is your birthday and someone gives you a gift that you don’t like, would it be necessary to say: Hey, thanks but no thanks, this gift is really disgusting. The truth is honesty doesn’t mean to be rude. You don’t have to lie and say that is the best gift ever, but you could thank for the intention.
At the same time, honesty doesn’t mean that you have to go through life telling others your opinion about them, not everyone expects your opinions, so better don’t say it, and if they ask, so say the truth without being rude. When the truth is not really relevant, and if it keeping it to yourself will be more beneficial than saying it, that could be the only exception. But do not confuse this with lying to protect others or to avoid hurting others. A lie, sooner or later will do more harm than the worst truths.
“There is always a way to be honest without being brutal.” – Arthur Dobrin
Therefore, if honesty and kindness go together they will never cause harm, or not as much as the biggest lie. The problem with lies is that the longer you wait, the bigger it becomes. We can’t go back in time and change what we did or said, but we can always choose to say the truth, a lie never expires, it will always be there, and the only way to destroy it is with the truth. Do not be afraid of telling the truth, and be ready to accept a truth instead of wishing to get beautiful lies. They can hurt, but once you know it, you are free to reinvent your life, while living a lie will only convince you that the illusion you live is real, living forever in a fantasy.
Start being honest with yourself today. That is the first step to becoming the best version of yourself. Be kind, be gentle, and say the truth to the people around you with compassion, not to hurt them but to free them, not to destroy them but to love them, even if they don’t love you back. Let’s become honest and free our conscious from the torture of our lies!