There are different moments in our lives when we are going to feel pain. It can be superficial or deep; sometimes it lasts seconds, sometimes hours, months, or even years, and sometimes it never truly goes away. Instead, it gets trapped in our hearts, contaminating our souls and breaking us from within. The only way to stop pain from hurting us is to release it from our hearts and let it leave our lives.
There are three different kinds of people. Those who swallow pain, digest it, and eventually release it from their minds and hearts. Those who swallow it and keep it inside, letting it slowly destroy them, becoming its victims. And those who swallow it and allow it to spread through their veins like poison, contaminating their hearts and turning them into a reflection of their own pain.
The first kind of people are not exempt from pain. In fact, it is very likely they have felt it many times in the past and will feel it again in the future. What makes the difference between them and the other two is that they do not allow pain to control their lives. Once they feel it, they look for a way to remove it from their hearts as soon as possible.
“Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have – life itself.” – Walter Anderson
The second kind of people are those who feel pain but are not able to release it. They keep it hidden deep inside their hearts. The problem is that even if they show a smile to the world, inside, pain slowly consumes them. They do not express it or release it in any way; they simply keep it to themselves. Over time, they become prisoners of their own pain, destroying themselves day after day, until sometimes the pain becomes so unbearable that they surrender to it.
The third kind of people are very similar to the second, but with one crucial difference. These people try to release their pain by hurting others. Their suffering has consumed their hearts and poisoned their minds. They are so broken inside that the only way they know how to react is by becoming pain itself, causing others to suffer in order to feel some relief.
“These pains you feel are messengers. Listen to them.” – Rumi
As we can see, pain is something we must eventually let go of before it destroys who we truly are. It is not always possible to avoid feeling pain, and in fact, we should not force ourselves to suppress it. We must embrace it, feel it, learn from it, and when we are ready, let it go.
How do we release pain, then? The answer depends on the pain itself and on the person experiencing it. What we must understand is that holding onto pain will not erase what caused it in the first place. That is why we need to redirect our focus toward something that brings us peace or strength. We must be patient with ourselves and give ourselves time, knowing that sooner or later, pain will fade. Pain only brings more pain; it does not bring joy. It will not change what happened, nor will it improve our future. It depends on us whether we allow pain to destroy us — or whether we choose to release it.
“My focus is to forget the pain of life. Forget the pain, mock the pain, reduce it and laugh.” – Jim Carrey
We can become victims of our pain and let it control our lives, or we can take responsibility and shape our own destiny. In the first case, we live at the mercy of pain; in the second, we decide what kind of life we want to live. It is not easy, but it is possible. We cannot always avoid pain, but we can always decide what to do with it. Transform it into something meaningful, and you can change your world.
Today can be the day you begin to release the pain you are carrying. You don’t have to rush it — but you can choose to start letting it go, and begin a new chapter in your life.