Life is composed of simple and complex conflicts that affect our daily lives to a lesser or greater extent. Every single day, life challenges us, disturbing our peace with new conflicts. Some of these require no more than a simple solution, while others demand more advanced approaches, and still, others compel us to develop or discover solutions that aren’t found in any book. However, there is one simple rule that can help us navigate our daily circumstances: “Forcing things is never the solution.”

How many times in our lives do we try to resolve a conflict, repair something, or change our current circumstances by forcing things? How many times have we applied force only to find that the outcome was the opposite of what we expected? For instance, there have been many times in my life when I tried to fix something by using force, only to end up with broken pieces of what I was actually trying to repair. I often found myself filled with sorrow, disappointment, and anger when I applied force in different situations.

The first solution that often comes to mind when we face a persistent issue is to apply force. For some reason, we’ve come to believe that when something isn’t working how we want it to, we must force it into place to satisfy our desires. Forcing things becomes our default solution. However, while applying force might sometimes work, it is usually only a temporary fix. Eventually, things will revert to their previous state or suffer an irreparable rupture.

“Beware of trying to accomplish anything by force.” – Angela Merici

Therefore, an important lesson I’ve learned through my experiences and many failed attempts is that force is not a solution; it is often the cause of irreparable destruction and lasting pain for ourselves and others. The key to dealing with conflicts and circumstances successfully is understanding that if we feel the need to force something, it’s a sign that we’re approaching it the wrong way. To achieve a positive outcome, we need to stop using force. Instead, we should change our strategies, find a better solution, accept the situation, or let it go. Forcing something will only lead to harm.

You may think, “Oh well, I’ve used force many times, and it turned out fine.” While that might be true, it’s also true that the times when force works are far fewer than the times when it doesn’t. This means the odds of getting a negative outcome using force are incredibly high. If you’re unsure or doubtful of this statement, I encourage you to apply force to fix something and observe the results. In the end, personal experience is often the best teacher.

“Never force anything. Give it your best shot, and then let it be. If it’s meant to be, it will be.”

Life has always shown us that what is meant to be will happen without the need to force it. Whether it’s a relationship, a job, a career, or any other aspect of our daily lives, if it needs to be forced or coerced, it will eventually break, disappear, and lead to disappointment and sorrow. Therefore, to achieve the outcomes we desire, we must find, design, or discover the solutions that will help us address our conflicts effectively. On the other hand, sometimes, the only viable and efficient solution is to let go. While this can also bring sorrow and despair, it allows life to reward us with a new beginning.

If you’re forcing something and not getting the expected outcome, it’s either because it wasn’t meant to be or because you’re approaching it incorrectly. Stop, relax, reflect, and change your strategy. Accept what you cannot control, learn to let go, or find a more effective way to achieve your desired outcome.

Use your strength to navigate life, rather than relying on force and coercion, and you’ll discover the key to resolving both the simplest and most complex conflicts in your daily life!