Most of our struggles come from our attachment to things, people, situations, and various other aspects of life. The issue arises when we become dependent on those things to survive, placing ourselves in a position of extreme vulnerability. When we lose what we are attached to, a life of distress and struggle becomes inevitable. Therefore, to avoid so much suffering, we must detach ourselves from everything that we could lose and free ourselves from attachment. Living attached to places, things, people, jobs, or situations is the key to a life of struggle.

I know it sounds extreme, but the truth is that the more attached we are, the more we suffer. This is because attachment breeds fear, and fear leads to suffering. We depend so much on something that the mere idea of losing it tears us apart. The problem occurs when our happiness is tied to things remaining unchanged — when they do not transform or cease to exist. Every attachment limits, submits, controls, and completely dominates us.

It limits us because it prevents us from being fully ourselves, as being authentic may mean risking the loss of what we are attached to. It submits us by making us act in ways that avoid that loss. It controls us by shaping our behavior, and it dominates us because our entire existence becomes dependent on the persistence of these attachments.

“Most of our troubles are due to our passionate desire for and attachment to things that we misapprehend as enduring entities.” – Dalai Lama

Does that mean we can’t have feelings? Can’t we love, be passionate about something, or care deeply? How can we be happy if we can’t just be human? Well, that’s the thing — we are human, we feel, and that’s the beauty of being alive. These wonderful emotions make us feel alive and give our lives meaning. The problem begins when we become dependent on relationships, material goods, jobs, places, or situations to maintain those feelings.

So, the issue is not having special feelings for someone or something but when our happiness becomes dependent on them. If the absence of something or someone or a change in our circumstances causes suffering, then our attachment is truly bringing us sorrow. It’s not love or passion that causes pain but our dependence on them. There’s something worth remembering: the difference between attachment and connection. An attachment creates fear of loss, while a connection gives and receives, nourishing your soul.

“Renew, release, let go. Yesterday’s gone. There’s nothing you can do to bring it back. You can’t “should’ve” done something. You can only DO something. Renew yourself. Release that attachment. Today is a new day!” – Steve Maraboli

So, what should we do? Free yourself from any attachments. Don’t limit yourself by thinking you can’t have a fulfilling life, be happy, or be successful unless you possess a certain thing, are with a specific person, are doing a special activity, or live in a particular place. If you’ve reached where you are now, it’s because of you. You are the creator of your own life. Therefore, if there’s anyone you need to rely on, it’s yourself. Without you, there is nothing. Don’t search externally for what you should seek within yourself.

A connection, a special bond with what you love, is inevitable. We should not avoid these connections but must not depend on them to survive. We should not let attachment confuse us into believing that we need someone or something to be happy. We must not think that a job, a place, a relationship, or a material possession determines our happiness. These things can bring joy, but that joy should never be contingent on their continued presence.

“Detachment is not that you should own nothing, but that nothing should own you.” – Ali ibn abi Talib

There is no greater feeling than freedom; the freedom gained by letting go of attachment is a true gift to ourselves. The key is not being cold or emotionless but learning to love without needing anything in return — being free to be whoever you want to be and do whatever you want without being limited by attachment. The most important thing is living in the moment. The past cannot be changed, and the future hasn’t arrived yet. Why ruin your life by being attached to a past that is gone or a future that hasn’t happened yet? Life is constantly changing, and knowing that nothing is permanent, living in the present, and cutting the ties of attachment are the keys to a happy life.

Give your passions, people, and everything you love the power of your affection, but do not give them the power to destroy you! Learn to let go of attachment, and give yourself the gift of living a happy life!