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Dealing with the negative voices in our heads

We have all experienced negative voices in our heads. The kind of voices that abruptly appear in our minds, take over our thoughts and have the power to change our whole life experience in a second. These voices are the vilest critics, they will criticize, condemn, and judge us to the point that if we do not learn to silence them, we might end up believing them and this will become an obstacle to developing the greatness within us and will stop us from becoming the kind of person we are capable of becoming. Stay with me so we can see together how to understand and deal with our negative voices.

Believing in negative thoughts is the single greatest obstruction to success. Charles F. Glassman negative voices

Once the negative voices start talking the chaos begins, like an earthquake, they can have different intensities, from a simple tremor with minor consequences to a devastating tremor that can have a serious impact on our life. At any given moment and for no apparent reason they might simply show up, the voices are so deep and strong that somehow, they always find the way to disturb our peace. It brings sorrow, sadness, anger, and frustration. Those negative feelings product of those negative voices can last for seconds, minutes, hours, days and even years. 

The duration of the effect caused in us by these negative voices and thoughts depend on one thing and one thing only: Us. We cannot stop them from arising, but we can find a way to deal with them. The most important thing to understand is that every human on this planet goes through the same struggle of dealing with these negative voices. It is not an issue of the weakest but even the strongest ones suffer the same, the key is to become as wise as possible as to know the difference between their reality which is always obscure, negative and judgmental and the real truth which is the one you should discover, the truth that dwells within you, the truth of who you really are, and that is not something these voices know, but is something you must come to realize.

“Man often becomes what he believes himself to be. If I keep on saying to myself that I cannot do a certain thing, it is possible that I may end by really becoming incapable of doing it. On the contrary, if I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the beginning.” – Mahatma Gandhi

These kind of voices are the ones telling us that we are worthless, that we are not capable of anything, that no one likes us, that people think we are stupid or that we are this and that, they try to convince us that we do everything wrong and that we are guilty of everything that is wrong in our lives. “No one loves you!” “No one likes you!” “You are a failure!” “You are useless!” “You are ugly!” “The world would be better without you!” “See how stupid you look now!” “I told you, this happened because you are pathetic” “You did a mistake like you always do!” “You are not smart enough and never will!” I could continue with all the different negative voices that have crossed my mind at least once. Do they look familiar to you? These or other kinds of negative voices have always crossed the mind of every single one of us in one way or another. 

The truth is that they are always telling us something beyond the words, there is a reason why they happen, and the key is to find the roots, where they originate, and then we will understand why, and once we know the why, we are going to be able to decrease the number of times they happen and when they do we will be ready to know how to use them in our favor. Normally they tend to be the product of our own fears, insecurities, frustrations, low self-esteem, past experiences and a wrong idea of life and who we really are due to the false concepts established in our society.

“All negativity is an illusion created by the limited mind to protect and defend itself.” – Ambika Wauters

How do I deal with them? As soon as they start talking, I try, quickly as possible to stop them, I do that not by avoiding them and pretending that they are not there, but I acknowledge them, I admit they are there, I listen to them, I allow myself to feel whatever I feel at that precise moment and then I decide. Do I let them take control, losing the ability to choose what to feel or do I show them who has the control here? I take the control back. I see them as something they exist but I know they do not define me. Normally I either think quietly and tell them to stop, sometimes I even scream, STOP! I analyze the situation and understand why they are telling me what they are telling me and then I make my own conclusions. 

There are always two possibilities, either they are right or have some kind of truth or they are completely wrong. If they are wrong, and you can clearly see that, then you have already all the power to silence those voices and keep moving forward without letting them interfere with your life, and you do this but expressing them silently or out loud the reasons why they are wrong, telling your own truth about what you believe, by confronting them with your truth, you take the power away from them and their voices will slowly fade away. On the other hand, if they are right or let’s say, there is some sort of truth on what they say, then it is important to find the positive side of everything. It is important, to be honest with your self and it is important to find the real truth. 

“Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you’ll start having positive results.” – Willie Nelson

For example, if I made a mistake and these voices are telling me everything I did wrong and how terrible should I feel because of them, then I try to stop those voices. I silence the mind, I see what I have done, I understand that they are right about the fact that I did something I shouldn’t have done but I don’t keep listening to them, but rather I find the solution by focusing on how to make things right instead of focusing on what went wrong. Of course, It is not always possible to revert what you have done, but there is always a positive side of everything and by focusing on that, by learning, by doing things better, you give yourself the possibility to decide who you are and who do you want to become rather than staying stuck in who you are not by listening to those voices that condemn, judge and criticize you.

The key is to not let them define who you are. Yes, we make mistakes, we have imperfections, we might have a lot to learn, we can have low self-esteem, we can have thousand of fears and doubts, and those voices will use all of that against us, but in the end, it is you who you really define yourself. If you do not like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change the way you look at it. Be the person that makes you happy, discover your own truth about yourself, so when these voices arise, you will have the right tools to fight back!

Life Goes On Like The Flowing River

Life is like a river, it is always flowing, it can flow slowly or it can flow quickly, it can change courses but nothing can stop the river from flowing. The same happens with life, there are no external circumstances that can stop it from flowing. One thing is sure: Life always goes on. We have different options: We can go with the flow and move on with life, we can stay still like a rock while life passes over us or we can fight against the current. Are you going to move on with life to a better future or will you stay stuck in that dark and hopeless place? You create your own luck, you create your future, you choose.

 

 

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No matter what happens in your life, it always goes on. According to Wikipedia the earth has 4.6 billion years but life on earth started a little bit later around 3.8 billion years ago, and humans has been on earth only a few hundred thousand of years ago. From the beginning there have been a lot of different circumstances that affected life on earth in many ways, but in one way or another it always managed to move on.

Since they are born humans go through a lot of different circumstances throughout their lives. Like a river faces different external conditions, so does life, and so we are exposed to many changes throughout our lives. These kind of changes have different impacts on a person’s life, it doesn’t really depend on the circumstance but it depends on the way a person reacts to that particular circumstance.

 

 

 

 

“When the pretty birds have flown, and you feel hurt and alone, be strong and carry on, and remember that life goes on.” – Mouloud Benzadi

 

 

 

 

In this beautiful and sometimes turbulent river called life there will be different situations along the way, sometimes the external conditions will be favorable for us and it will push us forward in the streams of life but sometimes they will not be favorable and like a very hard punch in the face it will hit us making us fall, and we are going to feel nothing but pain. But it will paralyze us? It will destroy us? The truth is there is no answer, because we determine the answer according to our reaction to what happened and our following actions. But is it possible to move on? Yes, definitely.

Whatever has happened to us there is no way we can go back to the past and change it. No matter how hard we fight with the current, we will never go back to the point we want to get in order to change something, therefore the only way we can do something to change our current situation is to move forward. Our present is the place where we create the foundations of our future. Every day of your life you can decide to start again.

 

 

 

 

“Accidents happen. Our bones shatter, our skin splits, our hearts break. We burn, we drown, we stay alive.” – Moïra Fowley-Doyle

 

 

 

 

We can fight with the current and end up being exhausted, we can refuse to move on, staying stuck in a miserable life forever or we can decide to move forward at the rhythm of the current. Life always goes on and we have the power to decide what to do with our own lives. Are we going to let an external situation whatever it is to define us? To paralyze us? To destroy us and all our goals and dreams? Or are we going to be the creators of our destiny believing in God, believing in ourselves? We decide. Life with or without us will go on.

Nothing will remain as it is, life flows like a river, it changes, it evolves. It always goes on, and if we move forward with it, no matter how dark it is at the moment, always remember that the sun never disappears, it only hides, and sooner or later the bright of a sunny morning will come through your window.

 

 

 

 

Leave the past, live the present, create your future and always move forward in the direction of your dreams!  

 

Is your past still present in your life?

Sometimes our past is more present than we think, and that is one of the reasons why we are still standing in the same place in our present. The problem is that everything that is related with our past, that we haven’t let go is still interfering with our present, and prevents us from moving forward. For that reason, in order to achieve our desired goals and dreams and create our future, we must first remove our past from our present.

 

 "Without freedom from the past, there is no freedom at all." - Jiddu Krishnamurti

 

How many things that are related with your past are still living in your present? And with that I do not only mean only material things, but memories, thoughts, feelings, people and experiences. What place does your past occupy in your present? Does it occupy a huge part or small part in your life? How much of it are still alive in your heart?

Try to reflect about your life and your present, try to relax and calm down from your daily obligations and pressures, and when you are ready look around you, and look inside of you: Can you see your past dominating your present? Are your past emotions and feelings blocking you from moving forward? Is stopping you from achieving your goals and desires? Are your past experiences and emotions influencing your present and making decisions for you?

 

 

 

 

“Holding on is believing that there’s only a past; letting go is knowing that there’s a future.” – Daphne Rose Kingma

 

 

 

If the answer is no, well done! You have done a great job getting rid from your past and you are living your present to the fullest, without being influenced by it. But if the answer is yes, my next question will be: Does your past serve you in your present? That is to say, it is giving you the results you have been looking for? It is useful in your present? It is helping you in any way or,  it is simply blocking you from getting the things you want to get?

The thing is our past does not have to be always a disadvantage in our present life, as long as the reason of being in our present is to take the best out of ourselves and give us strength. Our past, whether if was good or bad, is always a lesson, a lesson we should learn, so we can apply the knowledge acquired in our present, and at the same time, it should never be forgotten, so we do not repeat the same actions again. That is the important part of it, and the one that we should keep in our present, together with memories that lift our heart and brighten our days.

 

 

 

“The mental and physical space we create by letting go of things that belong in our past gives us the option to fill the space with something new.” – Susan Fay West

 

 

 

Everything from your past that not serves you in your present, does not bring any benefits in your life, any bad memory, or relationship, or good and bad experiences, every emotion, every person, as well as every thing including material things from our past that doesn’t help us in any way should be removed from our present to leave space for new and better things.

If our heart, mind and our environment is full of things from our past that does not make us grow, make us better, make us happy, or make us be the person we want to be and have the things we want to get, Why we should keep them if it is not only to sabotage our own lives? Why we should keep it alive when it kills our present and destroys our future? We have a chain around our necks that is leaving us without breath and that chain is our past, why keep living like that when we have the key to our own freedom?

 

 

 

“You’ve got to make a conscious choice every day to shed the old – whatever ‘the old’ means for you.” – Sarah Ban Breathnach

 

 

 

Today is the right day to clean your heart, mind and your whole life and take away from them all the things from your past that do not serve you anymore. Take all those  things, people, memories, experiences and feelings that do not make you happy, or make you grow, or make you the person you want to be, even those that may seem good, because everything that is from the past has nothing to do with your present, neither your future, they may have been bad or painful, or good or great but they are the past and we have to let them go, so we can move forward and leave space for those great things that are waiting for us.

What would be the first thing that does not serve you anymore in any way? What is that memory, thing, emotion or experience from your past that is stopping you from moving forward? Start with it, and without thinking it too much: just let it go!

 

 

 

It is time to grab a bag, put the things from our past that do not serve us in our present, and throw them away, and make space for all the great things that are yet to come!