Tag Archives: Failure

Doing The Things You Thought You Cannot Do

How many times have you said to yourself or others “I cannot do this”? How many times an idea in your mind was quickly erased by the words “I cannot do that”? How many times the idea of not being able to do something prevented you from moving forward? The truth is that just a simple statement like that one, with such simple words, can completely limit yourself, by closing every door to new challenges and opportunities. In order to move forward, we must do the things we thought we cannot do.

About doing the things we think we cannot do

You could have the best idea, or you could have been offered a wonderful new opportunity or experience, you could be in the middle of a challenging moment in your life, but if you let your mind to make you believe that you cannot do something then you will be limiting yourself, erasing from your life the opportunity to become stronger, more confident, the opportunity to experience something new, the opportunity to see how far you can get despite the fears. In order to erase that concept from your mind created by your fears, you will need to stop and look to the fears in the face, you will need to express to them “I am not afraid anymore” and you need to prove it by doing the things you once thought you couldn’t do. 

It is important to overcome the most dangerous fear of all: The fear of failure. The fear of not being able to achieve what we want to achieve. We need to understand the fact that failure is not a dead-end but a detour. It only pushes us through a different path, and if we are committed enough as to keep moving forward we can use it as an advantage to become stronger and wiser, and sometimes what we learn along the way is more valuable and important to our success than the destination itself. Sometimes we even end up in a better place than the one we have imagined before. Therefore, do not fear failure and you would have taken already the first step towards doing the things you thought you cannot do.

“You always pass failure on your way to success.” – Mickey Rooney

The interesting part of doing the things you think you cannot do is learning that after you do them, you cease to be the person you used to be before, this change is inevitable, but it is rewarding because you not only become better, but you come to realize how capable you are, it gives you self-confidence, it widens your horizon and makes you realize that sometimes what we fear is not as bad as we thought it was, and even if we do not succeed, as I said before if you do not let failure to stop you but you embrace that failure and you use it as an advantage to improve yourself, then nothing can stop you. 

In my life, I have learned that once you decide to look to your fears in the face then nothing can stop you. I have learned that deciding to do what you think you cannot do is the best way to make your fears disappear, and this becomes a lifestyle, you become stronger and confident and then nothing can stop you. I have tried, I have failed, I have tried again, but I have never ever let anything stop me from having new experiences, from learning something new, from becoming better. Challenges can be our best opportunity to reveal the best version of ourselves.  It is important to accept the fact that maybe we are not going to achieve what we want or maybe it is going to be more difficult than we thought, you need to learn to accept failure, become its friend, do not be afraid of it, and do not fear disappointment, if you are able to accept the life that were given to you and deal with the current circumstances with the best of your abilities then you will live your life in a completely different way.

“He who is not every day conquering some fear has not learned the secret of life.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

After high school I tried searching for a career that would make me happy, I went from wanting to be a police officer to a graphic designer, I failed both but I do not regret trying because now I know that both options were not for me and that took me to new and exciting paths. After that, I decided to start traveling, I was scared to travel thousands of kilometers to a new country with a totally different language, and  to learn a new language is very challenging, to be part of a new culture is also very challenging, it was tough and scary but rewarding at the same time, it opened many doors and change my life completely, now, at my 31 years of age I decided to go back to the University to study Psychology, perhaps I will fail or maybe I will be successful, probably will face my dear friend called “failure” again but that means that I am trying, that I am experiencing something new, that I am pushing the limits and that is living!

Last year I got my first road bike, I changed the pedals to those where you can click your fancy road bike shoes so your feet stay stuck on the pedals, on the first attempt I ended up in the floor like a bag of potatoes but I stood up and tried again until I got used to them. I started biking around, mainly from home to work sometimes just max 15km a day, and one day I decided to go around an island, around 94km. I said to myself “You are absolutely bananas!” but once again I decided to do the things I thought I couldn’t do. Worst case scenario I would just stop and turn back. In the end, I did it all the way to the end. It took me more than 5 hours, my legs were in such pain I could barely pedal, once I arrived I was so happy I started crying, I couldn’t believe that a person like me, a couch potato would do such a thing, but I did it and that changed everything. Now I do the same route like a piece of cake and I continue pushing my limits, and even though I wouldn’t pass the first stage of the Tour de France, if someone would ask me to join, I would definitely try, why? Because if you do not try to do the things you think you cannot do then you are not living your life to the fullest because even if you fail you will still gain something if you are willing to see failure not as a dead-end but an opportunity to learn something and to experience something new. Now I love biking and exploring beautiful places, I enjoy pushing the limits, I even bike at home to practice and become faster. This new passion, this new me, was the result of my decision to do the things I thought I couldn’t do.

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So, throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” – H. Jackson Brown Jr., P.S. I Love You

The same happened when I learned to ski last year, on the first day I fell every single time, I had bruises all over my body, but I kept pushing forward because I wanted to learn, I fell in love with skiing from the beginning even if it was painful, and that is the key to do something you think you cannot do,  you need to really want to do it, you need to like, enjoy and love what you are doing otherwise what is the point anyways? And after a few days, I got better and better and I found out a new passion! This year I even tried what is called “Ski Touring” where you go up the mountain with your skis on your feet and you go down skiing. I went up and down the mountains of different heights in different weather conditions. In the beginning, it was so difficult, I thought I would never ever try to go up a mountain on my own again, my heart was beating like crazy and I felt tired and frustrated but day after day I became better and better and being on the top of a mountain with that amazing view and going down feeling the snow under my skis is a wonderful sensation I got to experience thanks to the fact I decided to do what I thought I couldn’t do.

The thing is that if you don’t dare to do what you think you cannot do then you will never know what you could achieve and some things can only be achieved if you are willing to go through the pain and suffering of doing what you think you cannot do in order to achieve extraordinary things!

Do the things you thought you cannot do and explore new horizons, discover a whole new world of opportunities, and live your life to the fullest!

Face your Fears!

At least once in our lives we will be challenged to face our fears in order to grow up, evolve, in order to get what we yearn, achieve our goals and make our dreams become a reality. The victory is not guaranteed, but if we let our fears win, if we refuse to leave our comfort zone, if we decide not to pursue our dreams, if we succumb to our fears, one things is guaranteed: Our own defeat and the death of our dreams. Therefore, if we want to make our dreams become a reality we should face all our fears!

 

 

 

 

Our fears have the ability to paralyze us. They create a burden between us and our dreams. They limit us, they stop us, they steal our hopes, they snatch our dreams. There are many reasons for which most of the people haven’t achieved their dreams and one of them is because of their fears. The fear of the unknown, the fear of losing something, the fear of failure, the fear of what people would think of them if they fail, or if they succeed. These and many other fears that have sabotaged our own dreams.

As I look back into my past I can see how many times I refused to do something I wanted to do, or I gave up a certain goal, or I stopped pursing a special dream and all because of my fears. “What if I can’t do it?” “What if I fail?” “What if I am not good enough?” “What would people think of me if I do it?” “What if I lose?” “What if, what if, what if…” I hear those questions resonating in my head as it was yesterday when I said them. That was not my true self speaking, those words were my fears speaking for me. “What if”: That is how fears start confusing ourselves, that is their language.

 

 

 

 

“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” – Franklin D. Roosevelt

 

 

 

 

Therefore, in order to face our fears and achieve all our dreams we must first detect when our fears have taken the control of our own minds. Why is important to do that? Because once we detect that our fears are controlling our thoughts, we can quickly take back the control and start thinking for ourselves. If we are not careful our fears will take the control of our minds and they will decide for us, and they will shape our destiny. We should face them and challenge them, and prove them wrong.

Life is like a box of chocolates, there are different shapes, different fillings, different tastes, some are sweet, some are bitter, you can like them all or only a few, but you end enjoying all the box. One thing is certain in this world: Nothing is sure, and you will never know the taste of what is inside the box until you begin to try it. For one moment to another our life could take an unexpected turn, and everything could change. Therefore, if we go safely, if we do not take risks, if we remain in our comfort zone we will never truly end enjoying our lives, we will simple exist, and all our dreams will be buried into oblivion.

 

 

 

 

“He who is not everyday conquering some fear has not learned the secret of life.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

 

 

 

Most of the time our fears are not real. For example: Every time I turn off the light I think something horrible is going to appear, but it never happens. The reason is because what I imagine that is going to happen is not real, it is all in my mind. Our fears are founded by the environment where we were born. It happens with all our fears, and we can overcome them if we are willing to face them.

I was once afraid of spiders, one day I wondered why? Why I am so afraid of something that never did something to me? The problem is that I was programmed to fear them, I decided to overcome that fear, and I faced what I feared the most. It was hard in the beginning, but day after day my fear has started to vanish.

 

 

 

 

“Each of us must confront our own fears, must come face to face with them. How we handle our fears will determine where we go with the rest of our lives. To experience adventure or to be limited by the fear of it.” – Judy Blume

 

 

 

 

It happened with my fear of living in another country, with another culture and language. My fears tried to stop me, at some point they wanted to protect me, so they wanted me to stay in my comfort zone. One day I woke up, and I said to myself: “You know what, if you are going to fear something, fear the idea of living a miserable life for the rest of your life for not having pursued your dreams.” That day I silenced my fears, and I took the first step in the direction of my dreams. It is when you decide to face them, when your life gets another meaning. Do what you fear the most and grow, improve, reborn, evolve.

 

 

 

 

All your dreams, all the things you want, all your desires are on the other side of your fears. Don’t let them stop you, don’t let them snatch your dreams, face them, challenge them, and defeat them!

Becoming the Person You Were Meant to Be

Most of the time we give up on life, refusing to become the person we are capable of becoming either because we think that we have miss the opportunity to do so or because we do not believe we can aspire more. We condemn ourselves to live the rest of our lives being the person we are not, believing that we would never become the person we were meant to be for any reason we may have, but the truth is it is never too late to become the person we were meant to be.

 

 "It is never too late to be what you might have been."

 

 

Some people know from the very beginning of their lives what they want to do and who they want to become, and they do everything they can in order to become the person they want to become. Some succeed at it, others are still trying. Some people didn’t know what they wanted to and who they wanted to become, and suddenly, magically they realized what they wanted to do, and who they wanted to become, and they did everything in order to achieve it. Some of them succeed at it, some are still trying.

Then there are those people who don’t know at all what they want to do and who they want to become, but they never give up, they never settle, then there are those who may know what they want or not at all but they gave up, they accepted life as it was presented to them, living a life they don’t want, being the person they are not. They refused to keep trying, condemning themselves to a life of failure.

 

 

 

“The first step toward success is taken when you refuse to be a captive of the environment in which you first find yourself.” – Mark Caine

 

 

 

I always thought that I was a complete failure; a few years ago I realized I was not. When I was a teenager my life was kind of a disaster. I never fitted in, and I hated myself for that. I was never the kind of girl with lots of friends at school, in fact, I was the one everyone laughed at. I wasn’t the cool kid, the pretty one, the badass or the smart one; I was the shy girl, always sitting in the back of the classroom, crying always in silence. I had no friends, my grades at school were a disaster, my relationship with my family was a complete mess, and the relationship with myself was terrible. I was my worst enemy. I blamed myself for not being capable of being the person that everyone was expecting me to be, always trying to be, always failing at it.

I didn’t know at all what I wanted to do or who I wanted to become, and if I had a small idea, I always destroyed it quickly, simply because I thought I wasn’t good enough, I believed I was a failure, but I wasn’t. I was being the person I needed to be, because that person shaped the person I am now. Today, after 27 years I can say that now I know what I want and who I want to become. I might not be there yet, but oh man, one lesson I had from life is: “Never give up, you never know what you can miss if you do, and if you give life a chance, it will surprise you.”

 

 

 

“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.” – E.E. Cumings

 

 

 

I’m not the only one who has waited many years to realize their purpose, and I’m not the only one who is fighting to achieve it. There have been many people that didn’t find success until they were “old” for this society, that the older you are the obsolete you become. That’s bullshit, there is no right time to become the person you meant to be. The first important thing is to believe in yourself, know that you are capable of becoming anything you want, secondly discover your life purpose, and third do everything you can in order to achieve it. Do not worry about time, do not let it stop you.

If you still think that you are not capable of being the person you were meant to be for whatever reason you may have, I will show you a few examples of people who they were doing something completely different before becoming the person they were meant to be. A few examples:

 

At age 23, Oprah was fired from her first reporting job.

At age 24, Stephen King was working as a janitor and living in a trailer.

At age 27, Vincent Van Gogh failed as a missionary and decided to go to art school.

At age 28, J.K. Rowling was a suicidal single parent living on welfare.

At age 30, Harrison Ford was a carpenter.

At age 30, Martha Stewart was a stockbroker.

Samuel L. Jackson didn’t get his first movie role until he was 41.

Morgan Freeman landed his first MAJOR movie role at age 52.

 

And there are many other examples out there, just take a look at them, and then think again if it’s really too late to be the person you were meant to be.

 

 

 

“You are never too old to set another goal, or to dream a new dream.” – C.S. Lewis

 

 

 

Some people inherit success, others have to work hard to achieve it, but what really determines one’s success, is the ability to discover the reason of our existence, and live our life according to it. Being the best version of ourselves, doing what we love is the key to a fulfilled life. Do not settle with a life that is less than you deserve, it doesn’t matter where you are, who you are with, what you are doing, you can always become the person you truly want to become, do not let anyone say otherwise.

 

 

 

 

If you haven’t discovered what you want and who you want to become, don’t worry, if you don’t give up, sooner or later you will discover it. If you already know that but you feel you are far from achieving it, don’t worry, time is an illusion, if you don’t give up, sooner or later success will knock at your door.

Improve your Strategies for Better Outcomes

Some of the circumstances that happen in our life are inevitable, some of them are simply a matter of luck, and some of them are the product of our actions. Our life is not already written, but it is easy to think it is, because that way we disclaim ourselves from any responsibility and we blame destiny for being the cause of our hardships. The truth is we create our life with our own actions, and if the outcomes we are getting are not the desired ones, it is time to improve our life strategies.

 

 "If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten." - Anthony Robins better outcomes

 

 

If we keep thinking the same thoughts, if keep having the same feelings, if we keep making the same actions and having the same behaviors, we are going to keep getting what we have always got. The question now is: Are you getting the outcomes you expect to get? If the answer is yes, congratulations! You’re heading in the right direction! If the answer is no, you will need to change your strategies, and do something in a different way until you get the desired outcomes.

If we are not getting what we want is probably because something is not working as it should, something we are doing is not helping us to get the outcomes we expect. Normally we blame life, our family, time, money, or anything we can put our blame on for not getting the outcomes we want, but the truth is, in most cases we are the cause of our own failure. Therefore, if we want better outcomes, if we want to succeed we will have to change something in order to be successful, and stop doing the kind of things that has only gave us failure.

 

 

 

“Achieve success in any area of life by identifying the optimum strategies and repeating them until they become habits.” – Charles J. Givens

 

 

 

The first and most important thing we should know in order to succeed is to know that we do not depend on our environment to succeed, but in having the ability to not fall in the trap of remaining captive in that environment. That is to say, no matter where we are right now, and which our external circumstances, we can always create a better tomorrow, and the key to do that is not to surrender to our current circumstances, and take responsibility for our own life, and create with our own actions the life we truly want to experience, and take all the right actions in order to get the desired outcomes.

If you want something different, if you want a better outcome for your life you need to change your current actions and improve your strategies. What are you doing now that is giving you results? What are you doing that is not giving you the outcomes you want? What are you not doing that can help you get the outcomes you desire? What kind of strategies have you been using that haven’t given you the outcomes you expected? What can you do today to improve them? Think about those questions, determine what you want, and discover what you can do that will help you get the outcomes you want. Read, ask, learn, make mistakes, take risks, try once more, improve, improve and improve until you are successful, but never give up!

 

 

 

“The first step toward success is taken when you refuse to be a captive of the environment in which you first find yourself.” – Mark Caine

 

 

 

There is always something you can do better, there is always something that you can improve, do not limit yourself by thinking that is nothing else you can do, or that you can’t aspire for more, you have greatness within you, and you can achieve anything if you work hard, if you are persevering, and if you never surrender to any hardship. You can always grow, learn, improve, evolve and succeed. Learn from past mistakes, learn from other people’s mistakes, ask questions, learn new things, improve yourself, develop your potential, and do not stop until you get the outcomes you want to get.

 

 

 

 

If what you have been thinking, feeling and doing has not given you the outcomes you wish to get, it is time to improve your strategies. Do not be afraid to change, do not be afraid to try something new, do not be afraid of failure, remember that failure is only real when you give up! Change your strategies, and get the outcomes you want!

In a dead end

A dead end: That place of failure and despair that takes away from us all our dreams and desires, swallowing them into darkness. Once we are there, it seems to be no escape, our hands seem to be tied, our legs seem to be stuck into the ground while our heart seems to break apart. Everything seems to be over, but there is always a solution. The question is: Are we going to fight and find it or are we going to give up our dreams so easily?

 "A dead end can never be a one way street; you can always turn around and take another road." - Bo Bennett

 

How easy it is to dream, but how difficult it is to make them become true! The problem is not that they are impossible or unlikely to happen, the problem is that we give up very easily. But why? Because of failure. We are so afraid of it that we don’t even try to make them happen, or if we do, we give up in the first instance when we meet with failure. And that’s the moment when we get into a dead end, and every dream we have vanishes into the darkness of failure.

The problem with failure is that it is not easy to digest. The taste of failure doesn’t go away so easily from our mouth, that bitterness remains in our palate like needles digging into our tongue. The smell of failure is so profound and disgusting that penetrates so deeply that we can’t smell a jasmine even if we try. Failure poisons every part of our body, contaminates our soul, and breaks our heart. Failure rots us, contaminates us, breaks us, destroys us, paralyzes us and drown us. Failure kills us inside and destroys our dreams, desires and goals.  But, does failure defeat us?

 

 

 

“But man is not made for defeat. A man can be destroyed but not defeated.” – Ernest Hemingway

 

 

 

The answer is: No. Failure does not defeat us, but we are defeated when we give up. It is not failure what defines our future, it is us and how we deal with it what defines and creates our future. Failure corners us into a dead end but it does not block the entry. At any given moment we have the chance to turn around a find another way to get to our dreams. The problem is that failure seems to be our enemy when in fact it is only trying to help us. It is only trying to say to us that the path we follow is not the right one.

But we see failure as a dead end rather than an opportunity to do things in a different way. Our beliefs and fears about failure are so wrong that we have come to believe that failure is our worst enemy, when in fact we are our worst enemy. Failure challenges us, it tests us and brings us to the limit. It can destroy us, stealing us all our hopes of making one day all our dreams and goals become a reality, but what really defeat us is our choice of giving up. Failure puts us into a dead end but it is our choice to remain there or turn around and find another way.

 

 

 

“Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end. Failure is something we can avoid only by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.” – Denis Waitley

 

 

 

Perhaps you already have been in a dead end or maybe you feel you are in a dead end now. I have experienced that, and I believe all of us, or at least those who have dared to follow their dreams have experienced failure once in their lives. The experience of being in that place of darkness, confusion and despair is awful. The feeling of sorrow invades our soul, the lights go out, the road disappears and suddenly all our dreams and goals are overshadowed by our sadness, pain, frustration and fears. It is hard to see with clarity in that moment of darkness, but it is there when we have to see beyond it.

It is in that moment when we have to see failure as an opportunity and not as a dead end. When you run into a dead end just simply turn around and find a better way. Embrace failure as an opportunity, and not as a punishment, and you will find the key to success. Learn from them, and once you do that, you will see them as they really are: an opportunity to reveal the greatness inside you, an opportunity to declare that your dreams are bigger than your fears, an opportunity to express that no matter how many times you fail, you will make your dreams come true. In the road to make our dreams come true we will face many dead ends, it depends on us whether we are going to give up and remain there or if we are going to find another way, the decision we make will determine either our victory or our defeat.

 

 

 

Then my friend, will you give up so easily or will you find another way to achieve your goals and dreams?