Tag Archives: True self

Don’t Take Anything Personally

Day after day we deliberately accept in our minds the venom of poisonous people with devastating consequences. Once in our minds, this venom annihilates our self-confidence and destroys our self-esteem and feelings of anger, hatred and resentment flood our minds. Cause: taking things too personally. Cure: living without the influence of other people’s opinions.  Are you taking things personally? Are you letting other people’s opinion and behaviors define your true self?

 

 

Don’t take anything personally, nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering. Don Miguel Ruiz

 

 

 

We go through life as we had a target hanging from our necks. We feel as if we were inoffensive deer grazing peacefully in the woods surrounded by heartless hunters waiting for the perfect moment to pull the trigger. Suddenly, that moment comes, the world freezes, the watch stops, and bang! Perfect shot, straight into our heads, we lie motionless, presumed deceased. The world begins to move again, we breathe, we are alive, we survived, but the scars are bleeding, the pain increases, and suddenly the pain becomes anger and the anger commence to rule our lives. Resentment becomes our ally.

The problem is that our constantly need for acceptance and our desperate search for everyone’s approval has become a necessity in order to maintain an acceptable reputation to society, and this reputation, or our own reputation about our own selves is severely affected when we encounter ourselves being the target of someone’s attacks, that is the main reason why we take things so personally, because that person is preventing us from achieving our goal of being accepted by every single human in our society. It damages our ego, diminishes our self-confidence and put ourselves at the edge of collapse.

 

 

“What other people think of you is not your business. If you start to make that business your business, you will be offended for the rest of your life.” – Deepak Chopra

 

 

Therefore, taking things personally and unhappiness are connected. But, is there such thing as an everlasting happiness? Well, There are many keys and ideas of how can one be happy, but this question continues to be an existential doubt for most of us. However, through the years we have discovered important keys to unhappiness. One of them is taking things personally, when we do this, we expose ourselves, we put ourselves in a place of extreme vulnerability, putting our own happiness in someone else’s hands. When we take things personally, we condemn ourselves to a life of misery and resentment, we sabotage our own capabilities of achieving all our dreams and goals, and we deny ourselves the possibility of having a happy life.

When someone attacks you in any way in the end they never have something personal with you but rather they have something personal with themselves. The only time when you can take things personally is when you have attacked them or hurt them in any way first. For example, let’s imagine the case where you insult someone else’s mother, if the person gives you a punch in the face, you can take it personally, nevertheless, in the end, it always comes down to the fact that someone’s reaction and behavior against others is never something personal with them but with their own selves, no matter if they think they have an excuse for acting that way.

 

 

“There is a huge amount of freedom that comes to you when you take nothing personally.” — Miguel Ruiz.

 

 

Not taking things personally from the people that surrounds you is not something we can learn overnight, but is rather an every day commitment, but there is nothing more rewarding that gaining that level of freedom and become immune to other people’s opinions, immune to other people’s criticism, immune to other people’s judgements, immune to other people’s aggression. The real truth is that other people’s behaviors and attitudes toward you do not define nor categorize you, not damage your reputation, do not condemn you, but they rather do all of that onto them. Every actions and behaviors, every thoughts and opinions of others are only a reflection of their own souls, they do not indicate who you are, but they indicate who they are. Therefore, do not take things personally, and you will have found the key to your own personal development, you will broaden your limitations and you will declare, loudly and fearless to the world:  “I do not seek to belong, I do not seek to be accepted, nobody defines me nor limits me, I am immune to the poisonous souls that seek to destroy me, I am an utterly and completely free soul.”

 

 

 

 

Learn to not take things personally, release your soul from the need to get everyone’s approval and become immune to other people’s criticism, opinions and behaviors and you will have discovered one of the keys to success and your personal development. 

Is Life a Competition?

Since we were children we are taught to compete. Day after day the habit of competing with others is shaped. When we less expect it that habit is created, and our whole life becomes a competition, a competition where we need to beat others in order to be successful. But is life really a competition? Do we need to compete in order to be successful? It is the act of competing with others what give us true victory? Can the result of a competition really define a human being? Let’s find out together more about competition, its definition, level of importance and impact on human beings.

 

 

 

 

According to the dictionary, a competition is “a situation in which someone is trying to win something or be more successful than someone else” In other words, we can define competition as being an opportunity to get a special prize that might have a special significance, or the opportunity to defeat others to declare oneself as being more successful or superior than someone else. Therefore, does this mean that we must focus on defeating others to be successful? It is by doing so, that one truly achieves victory? It is true that through competing with others one evolves, becomes superior, and achieves greatness?

Well, that will depend on the way we see it, that is to say, our own perspective, belief and idea of what a competition truly means. Two different beliefs are going to determine the true meaning of competition and the answers to those questions: 1. The belief that life is a competition, where you have to defeat others in every possible aspect of your life. 2. The belief that life is not a competition at all, and if there is one competition that is with the person you were yesterday.

 

 

 

“The only competition worthy of a wise man is with himself.” – Washington Allston

 

 

 

The first belief will define competition as the possibility to beat others to be successful, believing that through defeating others one gets true victory, what makes them more superior, what makes them evolve, and so achieve greatness.  The second belief will define competition as being merely the chance to be better than you were yesterday, believing that one is successful, evolves and achieves greatness by becoming the best version of oneself.

The people who have the first belief will focus on winning others. That will be their maximum goal, beating others will become their main desire, and the defeat of others will be their victory.  Those who have the second belief will focus on being better than they were yesterday, and becoming the best version of themselves will be their ultimate goal, and victory for them will mean being the person they were meant to be without needing to defeat others for being so.

 

 

 

“You are never really playing an opponent. You are playing yourself, your own highest standards, and when you reach your limits, that is real joy.” – Arthur Ashe

 

 

 

As we can see competition is a word that can have many different meanings. The true is that nowadays people have accepted the first belief, because that is what this society taught us. It taught us that we need to compete, and in every competition, we have to win others in order to be successful. And this is not about sports, this is not a simple game, this is about life. Somehow, they transformed life into a competition. We compete not to become the best version of ourselves, but to simply defeat others, what gave us a wrong idea of life.

Every aspect of our life has become a competition. In every place there is an ongoing competition: In workplaces, schools, universities, homes, neighborhoods, bars, parks, and every corner of this world. We compete to see who has the best car, smartphone, house, clothes, shoes, we compete to see who has the best body, who looks better, who is more beautiful, we compete to see who has the best job, the best position, the best salary, we compete to see who has the best grades, or the most important degree, or anything that will put us in a “high status position”,  we compete to see who has the best birthday, wedding, funeral, it doesn’t matter, the fact is that we have to be better than others, that gives a fake sensation of happiness and success, that seems to fill our empty souls.

 

 

 

“Real learning comes about when the competitive spirit has ceased.” – Jiddu Krishnamurti

 

 

 

But, do we ever feel complete? No, not really, and that is why we never stop competing. We desperate need to be better than others to feel successful. What we don’t know is that the only person we need to be better than is the person we were yesterday. Being the person we were meant to be, doing the things we love without needing others approval, without needing to beat others, gives us freedom, and that makes us truly successful, that is how you really win this competition called “Life”, which in fact is not a competition at all, or not against others, but a competition against the person we were yesterday. Winning this game, means defeating the person that we are not, becoming the person that we really are, and that means becoming the best version of ourselves.

If you want to improve yourself, to develop your true potential, if you want to succeed at life, you will have to fight to become the person you are capable of becoming, if you believe in yourself and you think you are good enough to be the person you have imagined, then there is no need to compete with others, because you will realize that you don’t have competition, and if you don’t have competition, against whom are you going to compete with?

 

 

 

 

 

Life is not a competition, and if there is one competition, that is against ourselves. We create our own success by exceeding our own standards not by defeating others. So let’s go out and become the best version of ourselves!

Rebels with a Cause

There are many rebels, but few with a cause. These rebels think they are being free but what they do not know is that they are only puppets of a system that have them under its control. Therefore, to attain real freedom one must discover a cause to fight for, this cause is the purpose of our very existence, this cause is not meant to destroy us but to reveal our true potential. Being your real self and doing what you came here to do is what gives you freedom. It is time to find your purpose, and be a rebel with a cause!

 

 

"We are rebels for a cause, poets with a dream, and we won't let this world die without a fight." - Albert Camus

 

 

When we are kids we dare to dream, and we dare to dream big. We believe that everything is possible, and we know what we want, and we do everything we can in order to get it. But day after day, all our illusions start to disappear, adults inadvertently begin to limit ourselves. And one day we stop being kids and we start being teenagers, and like an uncontrollable impulse that comes from within we start to rebel to all those who limited us.

The problem is we become rebels without a cause, or a cause that is not yet known or is not defined. And that makes us fight the wrong battle, because we don’t revolt against those who were limiting us but we revolt against ourselves. We start making choices which its consequences destroy us more than anyone else. We believe we are winning, but in the end we are only losing the battle. We make a revolution against ourselves. And one day this revolution ends, we are now grown up, and defeated, confused, lost and worried we become the miserable adults we were trying so hard to avoid, and only from time to time, we do things that makes us believe we are the bold rebels we were before, but in the blink of an eye we go back to our duties.

 

 

 

“Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.” – Steve Jobs

 

 

 

Therefore, in order to create a revolution that will bring the change that we were looking for, we need to become the type of rebel that will make us successful, we will have to become rebels with a cause, a cause that puts our heart on fire, a cause that take out the best version of ourselves, a cause that gives meaning to our lives, a cause that challenge us, a cause that will change our lives, and the lives of others forever. The only way to deal with a society that limits us is to become an activist for freedom, a rebel with a cause, and be so utterly free as to start thinking by ourselves, being less impulsive, being less controlled, and being free to create the life that we have imagined.

The truth is every time someone starts to question things, or starts to see things in a different way, and comes with a crazy idea that could change the world, that could push human race forward, that can truly create an evolution and change the way in which humans live, they are most of the time treated as dreamers, crazy or rebels. But these people are crazy enough to think that they can make a difference, and they are free enough to act in a certain way to achieve their goals, they don’t depend on others approval and they don’t feel comfortable with the status quo. These people are the ones that make history, these are the people that change the world.

 

 

 

“The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion.” – Albert Camus

 

 

 

So who are you going to be? A rebel without a cause making the kind of decisions that will create a negative impact on your life? Are you going to truly limit yourself by thinking you can’t be more than a simple rebel that does some crazy stuff from time to time? Or are you really going to become a rebel and fight for your freedom? Are you going to be a rebel with a cause, being the creator of your destiny, freeing yourself, creating the world you dream, and having the life you truly deserve? You have to remember one thing: nobody limits us more than we do, our true limitations are found within ourselves, and we have the key to our own freedom.

 

 

 

 

 

Do you want to be a rebel? So be a rebel with a cause, and in order to succeed you will have to be willing to do the things other don’t. Dare to dream, imagine, discover and create, work, study and learn, question everything, ask why, find your own conclusions, be yourself, learn from your mistakes, don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t do something, love, grow, evolve and be free. Because true rebels are those who make a positive impact on their lives and everyone’s lives and are bold enough as to change the world!

The Rebellious Act of Liking Yourself

We live in a world so obsessed with external appearances that the package has become more important than the content. Nowadays looking good on the outside has become our main priority, our obsession, and the only reason is to be accepted in this society that condemns you or glorifies you for your appearance. Therefore, liking yourself in a society that plays with your self-esteem and expect you to feel ugly is a rebellious act that gives you freedom!

 

 In a society that profits from your self doubt liking yourself is a rebellious act. Caroline Caldwell

 

 

This society wants us to believe that in order to be successful we need to look beautiful on the outside. Since we are born we are exposed to different sources which its only purpose is to make us feel ugly. They created the concept that ugly equals unhappiness, and beauty equals happiness and success. It seems that you can only love yourself if you are beautiful on the outside, and that, of course, never happens, and why? because if you finally love yourself, the business would be over, and where there is no business, there is no money.

Our minds have been infected with this virus from the day one. When we are born they cut us our hair, they make a hole in our ears so we can look pretty with cute little earrings, they dress us like dolls, and they make us to act as princesses and princes. As we grew, they gave us skinny, blonde, and blue-eyed Barbie’s to play with, and as we continue to grow that infernal virus sickened our mind with make-up, plastic surgery, reality shows with all good-looking people, movies with beautiful actors, music played by pretty boys and girls, and TV commercials that constantly wash our brains, day in and day out.

 

 

 

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

 

 

The problem is that we have accepted the concept that we need to look pretty in order to feel happy. We believe that eventually we are going to love ourselves once we look beautiful on the outside, so we buy all the crap that we can find in order to feel happy and like ourselves, but this never ends, we never feel completely happy with ourselves and we want more, we want to look as the girls in the magazines, and the problem is that they do not even look like that in the reality. We chase a fake stereotype of beauty that doesn’t exist.

The problem is that they make us believe that it exists, so we never stop buying the crap they sell, submitting ourselves to this maniac marketing that owns us. There is always something new, a new type of plastic surgery, a new revolutionary product that will make you look 20 years younger, and wonderful tanning product that will make you look tanned the 365 days of a year, a new make-up that transforms your face into a fake and unnatural doll. There always will be something that you will need in order to look beautiful and feel happy. This never stops, never.

 

 

 

“You have been criticizing yourself for years, and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” – Louise L. Hay

 

 

 

Therefore, if you want to be beautiful, start by liking yourself just the way you are, love the real you without any artificial product or special clothes or anything, simply love what society calls “imperfections” because they are not, they are perfect, you are perfect just the way you are. Beauty is a concept that society created in order to set a standard, and profit from it, but everyone is beautiful, we are unique, original, one of a kind, we do not need to be someone else to be beautiful, being ourselves and liking ourselves is what makes us beautiful.

What I mean is that is completely okay to buy and wear all the products you want, as long as your happiness doesn’t depend from it. Change your hair color, wear make-up, make a diet, go to the gym, buy new clothes, use your favorite cream, but do it because you like it, not to impress others, not to be accepted, not to belong, not to feel happy or be successful because you will never be completely happy if you depend on all that to feel good with yourself. Wake up in the morning, go to the mirror, and look yourself without make-up, with your disheveled hair, with your Minnie mouse pajamas, look at your face with your wrinkles, pimples, look at your body with all your “imperfections” and smile at you, because you are beautiful. Love yourself in that very moment and you will find freedom to be yourself without needing anything in order to be it.

 

 

 

“It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” – Antoine de Saint-Exupery

 

 

 

They once said: “beauty hurts” – No my friend, beauty doesn’t hurt, what it hurts is not being able to look yourself in the mirror, and like what you are seeing simply because you don’t look like the girl in the magazine. Not being able to see your true beauty, makes you miserable, and it doesn’t matter how hard you try to look “beautiful” you will always feel miserable, and that hurts thousands of times more than walking with high heels, plastic surgery or waxing. Can you understand the real problem here? It is you! It is the way you see yourself, change the eyes with which you see yourself, fall in love with your true self and you will change your whole life… and you will save a lot of money too! 😉

 

 

 

 

 

 

If you look yourself at the mirror and you like what you see, do you think you will care what others think? Absolutely no! that is called self-confidence and that is liking yourself! You don’t need anything to be beautiful, you already are, just remember that and be free to be your authentic, wonderful, and beautiful self!

Our past doesn’t define who we are

Our past doesn’t define who we are, because we are not our past, but we are what we choose to be at this very moment. Somehow we have accepted the concept that our past define who we are, but the truth is that our past cannot define us, but we define ourselves through our behaviours and actions of our present.

 

"Do not give your past the power to define who you are." 

 

Our past doesn’t define us, because the past is gone. The only thing that is here is our present, and what we have chosen to be now is what really define us. In every sunrise, each new day, at any time, we have the opportunity to decide who we are going to be. If you let your past situations define you, if you let others define you, if your let your past behaviours, thoughts and actions define you, if you let external circumstances and things out of your control define you, you will become their slave, but if you decide to be the best version of yourself right here, right now, regardless your past and the person you used to be, then you will become free from any attachment with your old self, having the possibility to be your true self.

The problem is when we fail to be the person we really are by the thoughts and beliefs we have put in our minds about who we are, condemning ourselves to be the person who we are not, for the rest of our lives. There is no greater agony than the one you suffer when you start to believe that you are the person that deep inside your heart you know you are not, repressing and hiding your full potential.

 

 

 

“My past has not defined me, destroyed me, deterred me, or defeated me; it has only strengthened me.” – Steve Maraboli

 

 

 

But the worst issue of all is when people start to believe in the person you are not, because once they accept that person as your true self, they will categorize and define you, and the concept they create in their minds about you rarely changes, what makes everything more difficult for you. That is why the process to change yourself for a better you is not easy, because you must walk the path alone. You will have to face your own misconceptions about yourself, you will have to forgive yourself, forget others opinions about you, and then you will have to accept yourself as you really are and act upon it. The important thing is to believe in yourself, because you create your own destiny and not others, therefore, their opinions about you are absolutely useless.

We all have done and said things that we regret, but what is the point of regretting the person we used to be if that won’t change anything from our past? But what we can change is our present. The key is to embrace the person we used to be, because in a certain way that person shaped us, and released our true self. Our past has defined us, because in the way we acted, but now we define ourselves through our present actions and behaviours, the question is: Are we going to keep letting our past to define us by acting as in our past or are we going to redefine ourselves and act according to our true self?

 

 

 

 “Success in any endeavour depends on the degree to which it is an expression of your true self.” – Ralph Marston

 

 

 

We are not our past, we are not our past decisions, we are not our mistakes, we are not our past behaviours, but we are what we choose to be right now, and that is all that matters. The consequences of our past actions cannot be avoided, but we can avoid being the person we are not. We grow, we change, we evolve, and in that way we discover and create our true self, and that is success.

 

 

 

Nobody defines who we are, not even our past nor our old self, but we define ourselves. In this present moment we have the opportunity to decide and express our true self and release the greatness within us. Forgive yourself, accept your true self, love yourself, become the best version of yourself and change your life!