Tag Archives: relationships

When There is Teamwork, Success is Inevitable

True success in every aspect of our lives can only be achieved through teamwork. If humans are willing to work together as a team, if they cooperate and work together as one for the benefit of all, they can overcome any obstacle, win any battle and obtain ultimate success. There is nothing more powerful than a group of humans willing to work together as a team, when individuals become part of a group, when humans gather together and work for their own benefit as well as the benefits of others the opportunities for success are endless and ultimate peace can finally be achieved.

 

 

 

"Unity is strength... when there is teamwork and collaboration, wonderful things can be achieved." - Mattie Stepanek

 

 

 

Why is it that ultimate peace is so unreachable? Peace is something we all seek to obtain, peace of mind, peace in our homes, in our jobs, in our communities, peace in our hearts and world peace, but for some reason, we always fail to achieve it. There are many reasons of why this happens, but one them is that we have forgotten to live together as a team. We live in a very individualistic world where everyone is after their own benefits at the expenses of others. Life has become a huge competition and we live our lives as if we were participants of the “Hunger Games”.

While competition in sports, games and other cases can be necessary, exciting and fun, competition in all aspects of our lives can be deadly. When members of a family compete between each other, when colleagues at work compete between each other, when friends compete within each other, when humans of different nationalities, religion and cultures compete within each other, as individuals, for the merely purpose of obtaining one’s own personal satisfaction or benefit, refusing to be part of a group, we choose to put ourselves in the path to darkness, and hatred, fear, resentment, pain and suffering are its consequences.

 

 

“The only competition worthy of a wise man is with himself.” – Washington Allston

 

 

Therefore, competition is a double-edged sword, while it can be sometimes fun and encourage teamwork, gives adrenaline, and can makes us better person than we were yesterday, if it is used in the wrong way, it can only destroy, create pain, and snatch our peace. The truth is that life is not a competition, no good can be obtained in fighting between each other, and in ceasing to work as a big team, for the benefits of those in our same group, and the benefits of others. Success can be obtained working together without needing to trample on others to achieve it.

What I am trying to express is that is not wrong to look after your own benefit, it is not wrong to go after your own dreams and desires, and fight for what you love and makes you happy, for that reason, if you want to obtain success as an individual compete with the person you were yesterday, no with others, evolve, grow, learn, work hard, be better than you were yesterday, and become the best version of yourself, and life will take care of the rest. However, remember that true success and ultimate peace in our lives and in the whole world can only be achieved through teamwork. No evil can stop a bunch of human beings willing to do good, working as a team.

 

 

“A boat doesn’t go forward if each one is rowing their own way.” – Swahili Proverb

 

 

If peace seems so unreachable is because we have separated each other, forgetting that we are part of a whole. In the end we are all the same, with particular characteristics, desires, dreams and personalities, but we belong to each other, and together we can make the impossible possible. Let’s gather together and work together as a team in our homes, in our schools, in our jobs and in every aspect of our lives, let’s help each other, let’s live in peace and remember that teamwork is key to ultimate success. No home, no relationship, no company, no country, can be truly successful without team work. Our merely existence depends on teamwork, without it we are nothing. Either we succeed as a team or we fail as individuals.

 

 

 

 

As individuals we are finite, as a team we are eternal. As individuals we can be strong, unique and fantastic, but as a team we are powerful and unbeatable!

 

A Short Story About the Power of Understanding – Part II

In the previous part I started writing a little story that I imagined one night while I was watching the stars. This short story is about the power of understanding. It is a way to see how different everything could be if we could be less judgmental and more understanding with each other. Hope you enjoy it!

 

 

"Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves." - Carl Jung  

 

 

He started seeing flashing images, they were passing quickly through his eyes like a movie. As the images were passing, he started to recognize the kid in the images, it was the life of this kid in little images. As they were passing, the little kid was getting older, and suddenly he recognized completely who it was: It was his neighbor, a shy and quiet boy of about 20 years of age. The man has always criticized and judged this boy, because he was different, he always referred him as the “suicide boy” because he was lonely and never smiled. The images keep passing through his eyes, until they stopped.

 

The man remained motionless for almost 15 minutes, and suddenly, he broke into tears. What he saw in those images was the 20 years of life of this boy. The magic about the shoes he tried was that not only made him see the life of the boy he always criticized but he could felt what he also felt in different moments of his life. He understood why he was the way he was. This boy has been through a lot of hardship in his short life. And in the present, he was taking care of her sick and drunk mother, because his father ran away when he was born.  Suddenly, he realized that this boy, his neighbor, was worthy of being respected.

 

He tried the second pair first, and afterwards the third pair of shoes, both fit him perfectly. He saw the images that appeared. Those two pairs were the lives of two different people he knew. People who he always criticized most of the time.  One was the life of the secretary of her boss. He always criticized her for the way she looked, the way she acted, the way she spoke, he always judged her because she was a very reserved and quiet girl, who looked like a nun. It turns out that this girl has suffered abuse from his father when she was a child, and she has been afraid of men ever since.

 

The third pair of shoes was the life of his father. He has always been very critic with him. His father was always a strict, cold and distant man. He didn’t know much about his father’s life, they never really had a relationship, and they haven’t talked in the last years. He always criticized his father for not being a good, loving and understanding father. But what he saw in those images broke his heart into pieces.

 

It turned out that his father has had a rough life. His grandfather, his father’s dad, was very severe with his son. He has been the only son out of 4 daughters, and his father was very hard on him, always receiving psychological and physical abuse from his part. “This will make you a man, and you are the only one, you must take care of your sisters”, he used to say. This man now understood that his father was the way he was because of his own father. He saw in the images that his father always took care of his 4 sisters after their father’s death, and he always took care of him. The man felt ashamed of himself for being so cruel with his father, because he was always distant and cold, but deep inside him he was good man. A father to be proud of.

 

The man feeling a mixed of emotions tried to find again an exit door, he also went to the front to see if he could open the door, but it was still locked. Tired and hopeless, he went back to the rear of the store. He realized that he hasn’t tried the fourth pair of shoes. Already feeling devastated he was afraid of what he could see in those last pair of shoes. His curiosity was stronger so he decided to try them on.

 

He started seeing the images passing through his eyes. Immediately he recognized the person in those images: It was himself, and those were his memories. He saw the person he was and he saw the person he has become. A selfish and judgmental person that has always been criticizing people without even knowing them. He started crying, he couldn’t recognize himself. “Who have I become?” He said with tears in his eyes. The images keep passing before his eyes. He couldn’t tolerate seeing himself in those images. He felt ashamed, and for a moment he even despised himself. “Please God I don’t want to be this person anymore, I can be better than this, I can change.” He cried out loud.

 

Suddenly, the images stopped. He took out the shoes. The lights went on, and he went to the front door. It was open. He went out the door and left the shop. He opened his eyes, he was lying on his bed, it was all a dream, a dream that came true. He wanted to change, God gave him hand. He reborn, he changed, he evolved, and his life was never the same again.

 

 

 

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” – John Watson

 

 

 

With this little story that I imagined in my mind, I could understand how different everything is when we get to know the story of a person. Once we know what they have been through, once we feel what they felt, everything changes. But do we need to go through that to be understanding and compassionate? The answer is no. We need to understand that everyone is fighting their own battler, becoming more understanding and less judgmental. We do not change people by criticizing them, nor we change our lives. We need less critics, and more people willing to become the best version of themselves so they can be ready to help others do the same. Together we can make this world a better place, it all starts with us and with the person we choose to be every single day of our lives.

 

 

 

 

The next time you criticize and judge others, try to put yourself in that person shoes first. Try to understand others as you would like them to understand you. Understanding is the key to a better world. Will you help create it?

Taking Things for Granted: When the Important Things Become Invisible

The more we see something the more invisible it becomes to us. We take for granted things that we once desired, things that are essential for our well-being, valuable things, treasures, wonderful things and extraordinary people who enriches our lives. The problem is that the consumption society in which we live has made us blind. We have lost all sense with what is really important, and we have focused all our energy in less important things. The funny thing is we always realize how important something was when we lose it.  That is the moment when we learn to give something the value it deserved.

 

 

"It's not a bad idea to occasionally spend a little time thinking about things you take for granted. Plain everyday things." - Evan Davis

 

 

Once upon a time there was a magic world. It was full of wonders and treasures. It was so perfectly designed that only an expert craftsman could have made such a wonderful piece; it was so beautiful, so magnificent, so extraordinary… It was the best masterpiece ever created. This paradise called “Earth” was compound of minerals, water, mountains, oceans, trees, flowers, beautiful lands, lakes, beautiful creatures, fruits, seeds, vegetables, and above you could see during the day a blue sky, and a big sun or water falling from the sky, or wonderful snowflakes, and during the night you could see a shiny moon, and a dark night full of stars.

This world still exists; it is the world you live in. It is the jewel in which you are standing right now, a paradise that you missed by being too focused on other less important things. When was the last time you actually stopped everything you were doing and you contemplated what this world has to offer? When was the last time you enjoyed all the treasures of this planet? So many beautiful colours, aromas, flavours, sounds and textures and we took them for granted, how can we be so blind?

 

 

 

“The more often we see the things around us – even the beautiful and wonderful things – the more they become invisible to us. That is why we often take for granted the beauty of this world: the flowers, the trees, the birds, the clouds – even those we love. Because we see things so often, we see them less and less.” – Joseph B. Wirthlin

 

 

 

The main problem with us is that we are constantly craving things that we do not have, but we always forget the things we already have. Once we get what we want, another thing takes its place, and the thing we wanted in the first place quickly loses its value. This not only happens with material things, but with everything around us. We take for granted material possessions, we take for granted the food we eat, the water we drink, we take for granted our health, we take for granted the people we love, we take for granted the nature around us, and we take for granted our time on this earth.

It turns out that I smile a lot, and in these moments that is something unusual. I remember someone who once asked me: Why are you always smiling? To which I replied: because life is beautiful, and with a smile he nodded. I mean how could I not smile? Simply look around you. We have everything we need, life is more wonderful than hundreds of years ago, everything is much simpler, we live in a world of opportunities, and still we insist on being sad and angry either because we always search for more things we do not need, or because we are attached to things we no longer have, while we belittle the things we have.

 

 

 

“We often take for granted the very things that most deserve our gratitude.” – Cynthia Ozick

 

 

 

The real problem of taking things for granted is that we forget to take care of them running the risk of losing them. That is why our planet is in jeopardy and with that our own existence, because we are so used to its beauty, so used of its existence, so used to its resources of water, air, and life that we are not paying attention to the damage we are causing to it. We take for granted our health that is why we not take care of our body putting in risk our own lives. We take for granted our family and that is why we forget to see them not knowing that one day they will not be here, we take for granted our partners that is why we do not give them the love they deserve forcing them to leave us. We take for granted our time, that is why we do not spend it on things that really matter, depleting the most important thing we have.

Close your eyes for a minute and imagine how your life would look like if you didn’t have the things you already have. Your family gone, friends gone, the person you love gone, the things you possess gone, your health gone, no more sun, no more rain, no more mountains, the trees gone, the birds and all animals extinct, your house gone, imagine that there is no water left nor food, no more air to breathe, no more of the things you once had, no more freedom, no more time.

 

 

 

“There’s a lot that is good in your life-don’t take it for granted. Don’t get so focused on the struggles that you miss the gift of today.” – Joel Osteen

 

 

 

That would be a nightmare, isn’t it? Do you want to know something? There are people who are already experiencing that nightmare. Here on this earth, while you take for granted all the things you have and you suffer for the things you don’t, there are people with less that you have, and if we are not careful with our actions, if we do not stop polluting our planet, killing every animal, cutting every tree, if we do not end with every war, this nightmare will become true, and we will lose it all, and thus we will realize that the things we took for granted, were the things that made our heart beat.

Let’s take at least 30 minutes a day to contemplate and be grateful for all the things we have. Let’s stop what we are doing and enjoy the company of our loved ones, let’s admire the nature around us, let’s enjoy the essential and wonderful things of our daily lives. Life is a wonderful place, you only need to become aware of it, enjoy it, love it, and protect it!

 

 

 

 

Be here, be present, enjoy the moment, be grateful with what you have, and smile because you can!

Honesty: One of the Most Treasured Values of Human Being

On the road to becoming the best version of ourselves, honesty should be an important value to keep in mind. The problem is that we live in a society that reward us from telling lies and punishes us for being honest. Telling lies has become a normal habit between human beings and we have accepted it as a valid behavior. Honesty is a value that we all praise but it is normally forgotten, it has become the rarest value in a human being. But can we revert this or are we condemned to a life of lies? The answer is yes. yes, we can! and all depend on us.

 

 

"When you tell a lie, you steal someone’s right to the truth." - Khaled Hosseini #honesty

 

 

Why we have left honesty buried in oblivion? Is it to protect others or is to protect ourselves? Is it to be accepted by this society? Or is it because of fear? Why is it sometimes so hard to be honest? Why we are so easy to corrupt? Why do we easily forget honesty? I believe the main problem is because we have forgotten about who we really are and why we are really here. We have silenced the voice of our own souls, living the lie created by this society. We were not born liars, cheaters, fake, we learned to be this way. They manipulated us, they distort reality.

Since we were kids we have listened to lies. When we were children they told us stories that were fake, they tried to scary us with things that didn’t exist, they never explained why something was happening, but they tried to hide it with a nice little story. As grown-up, lies were almost everywhere. Lies in the television, in magazines, in newspapers, people cheating each other, advertising trying to sell you something with a lie, beautiful images of models and fantastic products that never looked like in the pictures, lies from politicians, lies between friends, family, colleagues, lies everywhere.

 

 

 

“If you tell the truth you don’t have to remember anything.” – Mark Twain

 

 

 

So we learned to lie, we accepted it as normal. Nowadays, cheating has become a normal behavior. I heard some people saying: “It’s life, it’s normal, people cheat, people lie, people is fake, and so do you.” And the classic one: “If you can’t beat them, join them.” Well, I totally disagree with this quote. I believe that if we surrender to this world that constantly try us to be something else, we lose who we really, and if we are not ourselves, we are nothing, or we are simply bones covered with flesh surviving in this world, waiting to die.

Nobody wants to be cheated, nobody likes lies, so why we do not start by being a source of honesty instead of lies? We can begin by being honest to our own selves. That is where the lie begins, we do not cheat others more than we cheat ourselves. Therefore, if we could learn to be honest with our own selves, we can be honest with others. This won’t avoid others from being dishonest but at least you will be your true self, you won’t be corrupted by this society, and that is a great achievement.

 

 

 

“Every lie is two lies — the lie we tell others and the lie we tell ourselves to justify it.” – Robert Brault

 

 

 

But we should always be honest? Even if that hurts other people? Yes, but there could be some exceptions. We have to try to tell always the truth, but there could be moments when our truth doesn’t need to be revealed. To be more clear I will give you an example. Imagine that today is your birthday and someone gives you a gift that you don’t like, would it be necessary to say: Hey, thanks but no thanks, this gift is really disgusting. The truth is honesty doesn’t mean to be rude. You don’t have to lie and say that is the best gift ever, but you could thank for the intention.

At the same time, honesty doesn’t mean that you have to go through life telling others your opinion about them, not everyone expects your opinions, so better don’t say it, and if they ask, so say the truth without being rude. When the truth is not really relevant, and if it keeping it to yourself will be more beneficial than saying it, that could be the only exception. But do not confuse this with lying to protect others or to avoid hurting others. A lie, sooner or later will do more harm than the worst truths.

 

 

 

“There is always a way to be honest without being brutal.” – Arthur Dobrin

 

 

 

Therefore, if honesty and kindness go together they will never cause harm, or not as much as the biggest lie. The problem with lies is that the longer you wait, the bigger it becomes. We can’t go back in time and change what we did or said, but we can always choose to say the truth, a lie never expires, it will always be there, and the only way to destroy it is with the truth. Do not be afraid of telling the truth, and be ready to accept a truth instead of wishing to get beautiful lies. They can hurt, but once you know it, you are free to reinvent your life, while living a lie will only convince you that the illusion you live is real, living forever in a fantasy.

 

 

 

 

Start being honest with yourself today. That is the first step to becoming the best version of yourself. Be kind, be gentle, and say the truth to the people around you with compassion, not to hurt them but to free them, not to destroy them but to love them, even if they don’t love you back. Let’s become honest and free our conscious from the torture of our lies!

Learning to Let Go of Attachment

Most of our struggles come from our attachment to things, people, situations and many other things. The problem is we become dependent on those things in order to survive, putting ourselves in a place of extreme vulnerability. In the case that we lose what we are attached to, a life of distress and struggle is inevitable. Therefore, to avoid so much suffering, we must detach ourselves from everything that we can lose, and free ourselves from any attachment.

 

 The root of suffering is attachment. Buddha

 

 

Living attached to places, things, people, jobs, situations, and any other thing is the key to a life of struggle. I know, it sounds pretty extreme, but the truth is, the more attached we are, the more we suffer, because the more attached we are, the more we fear, and the more we fear, the more we suffer. We depend so much in something, that the merely idea of losing it tears our heart apart. The problem is when our happiness lasts as long as the things we are attached to do not change, do not transform in something else, or cease to exist.

Every attachment limits us, submits us, controls us, and completely dominates us. It limits us because it doesn’t let us be completely ourselves, because sometimes being ourselves would mean the inevitable loss of that we are attached to, submits us because it makes us do certain things in order to avoid losing it, it controls us because it makes us behave in a special way, and dominates us because all our existence depends on the lasting of the things we are attached to.

 

 

 

“Most of our troubles are due to our passionate desire for and attachment to things that we misapprehend as enduring entities.” – Dalai Lama

 

 

 

Does that mean that we can’t have any kind of feelings? Can’t we love, or be passionate about something, or like something very much? How can we be happy if we can’t just simply be humans? Well, that’s the thing, we are humans, we feel, and that is the beauty to be alive. Having all those wonderful emotions makes us feel alive, and gives meaning to our lives. The problem starts when we become dependents of relationships, material goods, jobs, places, outcomes or situation in order to keep feeling the way we feel.

Therefore, it is not feeling in a special way about someone or something the problem, because the problem is when our happiness depends on that. If the lack of something or someone or if the change of something in our lives creates suffering in us, then is our attachment what is truly bringing us sorrow, it is not love, or the passion we have about something, but is our dependence, our attachment . There is something worth remembering and that is the difference between attachment and a connection where an attachment creates in us the fear of losing something, while a connection gives and receives at the same time, feeding your soul.

 

 

 

“Renew, release, let go. Yesterday’s gone. There’s nothing you can do to bring it back. You can’t “should’ve” done something. You can only DO something. Renew yourself. Release that attachment. Today is a new day!” – Steve Maraboli

 

 

 

So what to do then? Free yourself from any attachment. Don’t limit yourself thinking that you can’t have a life, that you can’t be happy or successful if you don’t posses a certain thing, if you are not with a special person, if you are not doing a special thing, or if you not live in a certain place. If you have come to the place you are now, it is not because of someone or something, it’s because of you. You are the creator of your own life, therefore, if there is someone you need to depend on, it’s yourself. Without you, there is nothing, so don’t seek somewhere else what you have to seek within yourself.

A connection, a special bond between you and what you like and love is inevitable, it is not avoiding that connection what we should seek to achieve, but not depending on it to survive. We should not let our attachment confuse us, believing that we need someone or something in order to be happy, having the idea that those things, that job, that place, that situation or relationship is the determining factor of our happiness. A job, a career, a place, any material thing, a person, or a special situation can bring us joy and happiness, but those feelings should never be conditioned for the lack of those things.

 

 

 

“Detachment is not that you should own nothing, but that nothing should own you.” – Ali ibn abi Talib

 

 

 

There is nothing greater thing than being free, and the freedom that we obtain by letting go of attachment is something that truly benefits us. So the key is not in being cold, without feelings, but learning to love, without needing anything in return, being free to be whoever you want, and do whatever you want without being limited from any attachment. The most important thing is living in the moment, whatever happened in the past cannot be changed, whatever will happen in the future didn’t happen yet, so why ruining your life by being attached to a past that is gone or to a future that hasn’t arrived yet? Life changes all the time, knowing that nothing is permanent, living in the moment, and cutting the ropes to any attachment is the key for a happy life.

 

 

 

 

Give to your passions, give to every people, and give to everything you want the power of your love, but do not give them the power to destroy you! Learn to let go of attachment, and give yourself the gift of living a happy life!