Tag Archives: Relationship

Don’t Take Anything Personally

Day after day we deliberately accept in our minds the venom of poisonous people with devastating consequences. Once in our minds, this venom annihilates our self-confidence and destroys our self-esteem and feelings of anger, hatred and resentment flood our minds. Cause: taking things too personally. Cure: living without the influence of other people’s opinions.  Are you taking things personally? Are you letting other people’s opinion and behaviors define your true self?

 

 

Don’t take anything personally, nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering. Don Miguel Ruiz

 

 

 

We go through life as we had a target hanging from our necks. We feel as if we were inoffensive deer grazing peacefully in the woods surrounded by heartless hunters waiting for the perfect moment to pull the trigger. Suddenly, that moment comes, the world freezes, the watch stops, and bang! Perfect shot, straight into our heads, we lie motionless, presumed deceased. The world begins to move again, we breathe, we are alive, we survived, but the scars are bleeding, the pain increases, and suddenly the pain becomes anger and the anger commence to rule our lives. Resentment becomes our ally.

The problem is that our constantly need for acceptance and our desperate search for everyone’s approval has become a necessity in order to maintain an acceptable reputation to society, and this reputation, or our own reputation about our own selves is severely affected when we encounter ourselves being the target of someone’s attacks, that is the main reason why we take things so personally, because that person is preventing us from achieving our goal of being accepted by every single human in our society. It damages our ego, diminishes our self-confidence and put ourselves at the edge of collapse.

 

 

“What other people think of you is not your business. If you start to make that business your business, you will be offended for the rest of your life.” – Deepak Chopra

 

 

Therefore, taking things personally and unhappiness are connected. But, is there such thing as an everlasting happiness? Well, There are many keys and ideas of how can one be happy, but this question continues to be an existential doubt for most of us. However, through the years we have discovered important keys to unhappiness. One of them is taking things personally, when we do this, we expose ourselves, we put ourselves in a place of extreme vulnerability, putting our own happiness in someone else’s hands. When we take things personally, we condemn ourselves to a life of misery and resentment, we sabotage our own capabilities of achieving all our dreams and goals, and we deny ourselves the possibility of having a happy life.

When someone attacks you in any way in the end they never have something personal with you but rather they have something personal with themselves. The only time when you can take things personally is when you have attacked them or hurt them in any way first. For example, let’s imagine the case where you insult someone else’s mother, if the person gives you a punch in the face, you can take it personally, nevertheless, in the end, it always comes down to the fact that someone’s reaction and behavior against others is never something personal with them but with their own selves, no matter if they think they have an excuse for acting that way.

 

 

“There is a huge amount of freedom that comes to you when you take nothing personally.” — Miguel Ruiz.

 

 

Not taking things personally from the people that surrounds you is not something we can learn overnight, but is rather an every day commitment, but there is nothing more rewarding that gaining that level of freedom and become immune to other people’s opinions, immune to other people’s criticism, immune to other people’s judgements, immune to other people’s aggression. The real truth is that other people’s behaviors and attitudes toward you do not define nor categorize you, not damage your reputation, do not condemn you, but they rather do all of that onto them. Every actions and behaviors, every thoughts and opinions of others are only a reflection of their own souls, they do not indicate who you are, but they indicate who they are. Therefore, do not take things personally, and you will have found the key to your own personal development, you will broaden your limitations and you will declare, loudly and fearless to the world:  “I do not seek to belong, I do not seek to be accepted, nobody defines me nor limits me, I am immune to the poisonous souls that seek to destroy me, I am an utterly and completely free soul.”

 

 

 

 

Learn to not take things personally, release your soul from the need to get everyone’s approval and become immune to other people’s criticism, opinions and behaviors and you will have discovered one of the keys to success and your personal development. 

Forcing Things will Never Be the Solution

Life is composed of simple and complex conflicts that affect our daily lives to a lesser o greater extent. Every single day of our lives, life challenges us, disturbing our peace with a new conflict, some of them require no more than a simple solution, others require a more advance solution and others require us to develop or discover a solution that is not found in any book.  However, there is one simple rule that can help us deal with our daily circumstances and that rule is: “Forcing things is never the solution”.

 

 

"Don't try to force anything. God opens millions of flowers everyday without forcing their buds."

 

 

How many times in our lives do we seek to resolve a conflict, repair something or change our current circumstances by forcing things? How many times we applied force on something and the outcome we got was the opposite of what we expected? For instance, many times in my life I have tried to fix something by using force, and I ended up with the broken pieces of what I was actually looking to repair. Several times I broke things, and I ended up with sorrow, disappointment and anger when I applied force in different situations in my life.

The thing is, the first solution that comes to our minds when we seek to solve an issue in our lives that has already resisted our previous attempts to fix it is force. For some reason we have come to believe that when something is not working in the way we wanted to, we must apply force in order to fix it and to satisfy our wishes. Forcing things becomes our solution. However, while applying force on something can sometimes be a solution, it is only a temporal solution and in the future it will go back to its previous state or it will cause an irreparable rupture.

 

 

“Beware of trying to accomplish anything by force.” – Angela Merici

 

 

Therefore, an important lesson I have learned through my life, the experiences I had and many failed attempts, is that forcing is not a solution, but the cause of the irreparable destruction of something and the everlasting pain caused in our own selves and others. Therefore, the main rule we need to learn in order to deal with our conflicts and current circumstances successfully is knowing that if we need to force something is because we are doing it in the wrong way, hence, if we would like to have a positive outcome, we need to stop using our force. Change the strategies, find a better solution, accept it, or let it go, but forcing something will cause nothing but harm.

You may be thinking: “Oh well, I applied many times my force and it turned out well.” While that might be true, it is also true that the amount of times something turns out well by using force is less than the amount of times that something doesn’t turns out well by using force. This being said, we can be certain that the odds of getting a negative outcome by using force are extremely high. If you are confused and doubtful about that statement, I encourage you to apply force to fix something and see what happens. In the end, the only way to discover if something is true or not is by your own personal experience.

 

 

“Never force anything. Give it your best shot, and then let it be. If it’s meant to be, it will be.”

 

 

However, life has always found its way to show us throughout our existence that everything that was meant to be, will be without the need to force it. If a relationship, a job, a career, or anything else in our daily lives needs to be forced and oppressed in any way possible, it will sooner or later break, vanish and it will cause disappointment and sorrow. Therefore, in order to get the outcome we expect, we need to find, design or discover the solution that will help us deal with a certain conflict, creating the outcome we desire. On the other hand, we need to understand that sometimes letting go is the only possible and efficient solution, and while it can create also sorrow and despair, we are giving life the chance to reward us with a new beginning.

If you are forcing something and it is not giving you the outcome you were expecting is either because it was not meant to be, or because you are doing it the wrong way. Stop, relax, think and change strategies. Accept what you cannot control, learn to let go, or discover the way to achieve your desired outcome in a more efficient way.

 

 

 

 

Use more your strength to deal with your life and less your force and oppression on things and people, and you will have found the key to resolve most of the simplest and complex conflicts of your daily life!

Release the pain and heal your heart

There are different moments in our lives where we are going to feel pain, it can be a superficial pain or a deeper pain, sometimes it can be for seconds, for hours, months or even years, and sometimes it never goes away, getting trapped in our hearts, contaminating our soul, and breaking our hearts, and the only way to stop it from hurting us is to release it from our hearts, letting it go away from our lives.

 "Find a place inside where there's joy, and the joy will burn out the pain." - Joseph Campbell

 

There are three different kind of people: The ones that swallow the pain, digest it and throw it away from their mind and heart, the ones that swallow it, keeping it inside, letting it to destroy its heart, becoming its victim, and the ones that swallow it and let it spread through its veins like poison, contaminating its heart, becoming a reflection of its pain.

The first kind of people are not exempt of feeling pain, in fact it is very possible that they have felt it many times in their past, and they will probably feel it in their future, but what makes the difference between the other two type of people is that these people do not let it to control their lives. Therefore, once they feel it they find a way to remove it from their hearts as soon as possible.

 

 

 

“Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have – life itself.” – Walter Anderson

 

 

 

 

The second kind of people are the ones that feel pain but are not able to release it from their hearts, keeping it deep inside their hearts. The problem with doing this is that while they can have a smile in their faces, deep inside their hearts the pain kills them. These people do not release it in any way, but they keep it from themselves. The problem is that they become prisoners of it, destroying them inside day after day, and sometimes that pain becomes so intolerable that the person surrenders to it.

The third kind of people are almost the same as the second kind of people but there is one big difference between them. The main difference is that these people try to release it and stop their suffering by hurting others. The problem is that the pain they are feeling has consumed their hearts, and poisoned their minds. They are so destroyed inside that the only way they can rebel before so much pain is by becoming the definition of it themselves, causing others to feel it in order to heal themselves.

 

 

 

“These pains you feel are messengers. Listen to them.” – Rumi 

 

 

 

As we can see pain is something that we must let go of from our hearts before it destroys the person we really are. It is not always possible to avoid feeling it, in fact, we should not force ourselves to not feel it, we must embrace it, taste it, digest it, learn from it and once we are ready we must let it go.

How do we release it then? Well, the answer will depend on the pain and the person, but the best way is knowing that the feeling of pain will not erase the fact that caused it in the first place. Therefore, we must focus in something else, something that makes us feel good, and we have to be patient and give ourselves time, knowing that sooner or later that pain will go away. Pain will bring us more pain and never joy, it won’t change what happened to us nor will change our future, it depends on us whether let it to destroy us, or destroy it ourselves.

 

 

 

My focus is to forget the pain of life. Forget the pain, mock the pain, reduce it and laugh.” – Jim Carrey

 

 

 

We can be the victims of our pain and let it control our lives, or we can be the creator of our own destiny. In the first option we will be at mercy of our pain, and in the second option we’ll decide what to do with our own lives. It won’t be easy, but it is possible. We cannot always avoid to feel pain, but we can always decide what we do with it. Transform it into something beautiful and you will change your world.

 

 

 

Today is the day where you can release the pain you are feeling, it is now the moment to decide to let it go, and start a new life!

What is Love?

We live in a world where humans have been separated from each other, but there is something that unites us despite our nationality, breed, gender or age, and we call it love. We speak different languages but we all speak the language of love. We all have experienced love, we all talk about love but: What is love? And what is its true meaning?

 

 

“The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds." - The Notebook

 

 

We never ask ourselves this question, or at least the majority of us, and I wasn’t the exception. One day a friend of mine asked to me, and when I tried to answer, I was not really sure about the correct answer, so I started a research to know exactly what love means. I started thinking about love and what it was for me, and then I looked for what other people said about love, I looked for the meaning in books, magazines, movies, and everywhere I could, and I found different meanings, what it made me think, that we are a little bit confused about the true meaning of love.

The truth is everyone has a different opinion about the meaning of love, and according to their point of view about life those meanings are totally valid, and I’m not an expert about love to say which answer is right and which one is wrong, and I think anyone is, but judging by how humans interact with each other, I can say we are confused about the true meaning of love, because love can have many meanings, but love should never be defined as painful, love is synonym of happiness, and not unhappiness.

 

 

 

“Love is the ability and willingness to allow those that you care for to be what they choose for themselves without any insistence that they satisfy you.” – Wayne Dyer

 

 

 

Humans over the years have always tried to define love in different ways, we find the word love in everything we see and hear, love has always been used as inspiration for movies, books, songs, and the meanings of love have always been as different as people on this planet. People from around the world with different languages and cultures, religious people, philosophers, scientists, psychologists, writers, Actors, and musicians have always tried to find and express the real meaning of love.

But the truth is, love is something that cannot be defined, categorized or described in any way, love is not a product we can buy in a store, it is not something we can find in a shelf, it is not something we can touch, love is something that can only be experienced, love goes beyond our understanding, and it is not something that can be easily explained in a few words in a dictionary, blog, book or anywhere, love can only be understood when we experience it.

 

 

 

“The beginning of love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image. Otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them.” – Thomas Merton

 

 

 

 So you may be wondering – Okay, if I can only experience it, how can I know that what I am experiencing right now it is actually this thing we call love if I don’t know what love really means?

 

 

And that is a very good question, because there we find the problem of our existence. There is so much despair and sadness in this world due to our misconception of love. Our beliefs about love are mistaken and therefore our experience of what we call love is also mistaken. And all this happened because we never really tried to understand what love really means, and when we try to do and experience something we don’t really understand there are very high chances to do it in the wrong way.

This is what is happening right now – Our wrong concept about love has confused us, and that has created so much hate, pain and sadness in our life. We don’t really understand what love means, so we have given to it wrong meanings:

 

 

Love is about possession of a person or an object, love is wanting others to be who you want them to be, love is giving someone our heart allowing a person to break it into pieces whenever they want, love means being what we are not, in order to be accepted for others, Love means to satisfy your own needs at the expense of other, love is the feeling we have only when the other person act, think, feel as we want, love means accepting others to treat us as they please, love is material things, Love is about fame, power and money, Love is only about sex, Love is superficial, Love is painful, Love is bad, Love is a waste of time!

 

 

As I said before, I’m not an expert and I think in terms of love no human being is, at least not yet, we can all have different and valid meanings, but what we should understand is that love is happiness, not the opposite, our wrong beliefs about it makes us think it is not, as we can see in the examples I gave, our concepts about love are mistaken, and that has created all the sadness and pain in our hearts.

 

 

So, what is love?

 

 

Definitely is not what I wrote before, but rather the opposite. The dictionary says love is: “A strong feeling of affection and sexual attraction for someone”, but at least in my opinion, love is much more than that, it is much more than just a word, an emotion or a feeling.

 

 

Love is caring of you and others, love is unconditional, love gives without expecting anything in return, love is wanting others to be the person they want to be, not the person you want them to be, love is about helping others be the best version of themselves they can be, love is a mutual agreement of giving the best they can for the benefit of both and others, love is when someone else’s happiness is your happiness, love is helping others, love is respect and understanding to each other, even if we think different. Love always constructs and never destroys, Love heals and never hurts, Love is not a finished product, love is something your work each day, love is being happy for the success of others, love is being in the good and the bad moments, love is timeless, love has no boundaries, love doesn’t require anything, love is a connection between human beings, love is not attachment to something or someone because love is free, love is peaceful, love is loyal, love is not when our happiness depends on the thoughts and action of others, love is blind, it cannot see appearances, because it can only see what is invisible for the human eye, love is what makes us better human beings, because love is what we are made of, and love should be our guide!

 

Jealousy is a destructive emotion

Jealousy is a destructive emotion and it can only generate destructive outcomes. The truth is jealousy never bring anything good, as it consumes our mind and our reality becomes a nightmare.

 

"There is no greater glory than love, nor any greater punishment than jealousy." - Lope De Vega

 

Jealousy is a direct reflection of how we feel about ourselves and our whole life because it shows how much we lack. Jealousy is poison to our spirit and is extremely toxic, as it contaminates our soul and heart. There are many reasons why we are jealous, for my experience I believe that the main reasons are due to our lack of self-esteem, self-confidence, and self-love, and when this happens, we let fear to control our life, and we become insecure, doubtful, anxious, depressed and miserable, everything that jealousy needs to grow every day.

Jealousy has the power to control our thoughts, emotions, actions and our whole life. When jealousy seizes your mind, you lose the control of your own thoughts and emotions, and your perspective which gives your reality, becomes unreal. Jealousy is a disease that causes torment and pain for those who suffer it. Once we let jealousy to control our life, our whole reality becomes a nightmare, and not only for us but for those around us who are also the victims of our jealousy.

 

 

 

 

Jealousy is a disease, love is a healthy condition. The immature mind often mistakes one for the other, or assumes that the greater the love, the greater the jealousy – in fact, they are almost incompatible; one emotion hardly leaves room for the other.” – Robert A. Heinlein

 

 

 

 

 

So jealousy is the way we have to defend ourselves against external threats, but in fact the worst threat lies within ourselves, and is called fear, and fear gives us wrong beliefs about life, people and ourselves, and so we live in a fictional reality that makes us to have the emotion that we were trying to avoid: unhappiness.

When you are jealous, you live in a world that is not real, because you don’t see the world with your eyes open, you see it with your eyes covered by your fears, and the reality you see in your mind is most of the time inaccurate, and so are your feelings and emotions.

The truth is jealousy puts us in the place of suffering we were trying to avoid, and we don’t get anything good out of it. Jealousy takes from us any opportunity to be in peace and happy with ourselves, and with everyone around us. No matter the situation, no matter how good your life can be, if you suffer from jealousy, your life will be your worst nightmare, because once jealousy poisons your mind and spirit you will live in a distorted reality, and you will see ghosts and demons where there are only angels, pushing away everything that is good for you.

 

 

 

 

“Never underestimate the power of jealousy and the power of envy to destroy. Never underestimate that.” – Oliver Stone

 

 

 

 

Jealousy is the cause why you are not living a truly happy and peaceful life, because it consumes your mind and your life. Every opportunity to achieve your goals, every chance to live the life of your dreams getting what you always wanted, vanishes in the darkness of your fears. If you want to be happy you will have to face your fears and challenge them.

If someone we love leaves us or does something that hurts us, or if we are betrayed or if we can’t get something we always wanted can be very painful but nothing can be more painful as being trapped in a nightmare world created by our mind, poisoned by our jealousy encouraged by our fears, insecurities, doubts and anxieties.

If you know who you really are, what you are capable of achieving, if you know how beautiful and amazing you are, you will never doubt from yourself again, and that my friends, is the first step to remove jealousy from your life. It is something you must work every day, you must learn to love yourself and believe in you, once you do that, you will find peace again and you will see life as it really is.

 

 

 

 

“You can be the moon and still be jealous of the stars.” – Gary Allan

 

 

 

 

At least that was my experience because one day I decided that in order to be successful I needed to believe in myself, and I found out that my beliefs about me and life were wrong, I underestimate me, and let my past, situations and people to define me, which created insecurity, disgust, anxiety, resentment and fears, and I became dependent of others for being happy, and then I fed my jealousy so much that they took my life, and so I believed in myself, and I took back the control of my own life, and I defeated all fears.

 

 

Believe in yourself and be confident about your potential, it is important for you to see it, once you see it, you will not care if others do the same, you don’t have to show nothing to anyone, you are worth, and you know that, so don’t be jealous of no one!

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Happy Valentine’s Day! Let today be the day we remember love and let’s spread it to everyone around us, let’s take this day into our hearts day after day for the rest of our lives because love is all there is.

 

Happy Valentine's Day!

 

Love should be the most important thing we should remember this day. It doesn’t matter what is our marital status, there is always someone who we can give our love. Most of the time we underestimate the power of love because we are not aware of the extent of our love, even with a small amount of our love we can heal someone else’s heart and make someone happy.

Love is not about gifts, love is those little things that make a huge difference, and love is about giving the best of ourselves to others in order to make them happy. Love cannot be measured in the amount of gifts we give, nor be measured by the amount of money we spend on those gifts, because love can only be measured in the amount of small actions we make day after day to benefit others.

 

Somehow we got stuck in the system in which we live that has taught us that love should be remembered only once a year, and should be celebrated spending money in material things what actually it cannot be further from the true meaning of love. The truth is we don’t need to buy things in order to show our love, because love should be demonstrated with our daily actions, from the smallest to the biggest action.

Like it or not, this special day exists in most of the people calendar around the world, and usually it cannot be ignored due to the consumer society in which we live. Every February when it gets close to St. Valentine’s Day everyone seems to remember love, and you can see everywhere how love begins to be commercialized as if it were a product we can buy in a store

 

The truth is that every day is St. Valentine’s Day, and it should be celebrated at every moment year-round. Love is something that should be demonstrated to our loved ones every single day of our lives. I’m not saying that we should not buy gifts on the 14th, in fact I believe that buying someone a gift is a beautiful gesture, but I also believe that gifts should be given at any time and not because we are forced to do so because it is a specific day of the year.

Love is priceless, and everyone on this planet have access to it, and that my friends is the most wonderful gift we have! There is nothing greater than love, because love is all there is. Let’s celebrate love today, and every single day of our lives, it doesn’t matter if we are in a relationship or not, love should be always be celebrated, even if it is only with ourselves, because it is something that exists within us and it’s everlasting.

 

Happy Valentine’s Day! ♥

Love Yourself

The longest relationship you will ever have is with yourself, so the best decision you can make is to love yourself first. Once you decide to love yourself, everything around you will make more sense, and you will no longer suffer needlessly.

 

If you are seeking love, seek within yourself first.

 

 

We suffer needlessly because we seek for others to give us the love we can’t give to ourselves, and when we seek for others to love us, we become dependent on the love of others to be happy, so when someone doesn’t love us and treat us as we would like, we feel sad, and our whole world falls apart.

We go through life begging for love, settling for a mediocre love, accepting a love that is much less than the one we deserve, and we do that because we don’t love ourselves, and we don’t love ourselves because we haven’t realized what kind of person we really are, we are not aware of our potential, we are not aware that we are beautiful human beings, with the power to make our dreams become a reality, we don’t love ourselves because we have forgotten who we really are and why are we here, we don’t love ourselves because we have forgotten that we can change the world and every human being on it in a second with the love, passion, strength and kindness that everyone has within ourselves.

 

 

 

 

“If you don’t love yourself, you’ll always be chasing after people who don’t love you either.” – Mandy Hale

 

 

 

 

When we don’t love ourselves we become a victim of our daily circumstances, accepting a pathetic role where everything seems to be against us, when the truth is that we are against ourselves. The day we decided not to love ourselves, we decided to become a victim of the opinions and behaviors of others. It is not the world who is against you, it is you who is against yourself, and it’s you whom have decided to be a victim by letting the situations and people in your life to affect you, rather than loving yourself, and accepting those things that you deserve and letting go the rest.

When you really love yourself, you will no longer beg for love, and you will accept the love of others because you want it, not because you need it, and you will give love to everyone around you, without the need to have it back, what will make you less vulnerable to the actions of others. Once you have made the decision to love yourself as you really are, you will realize what kind of person you truly are, you will see how beautiful you are and what you can give to others, and you will no longer be devastated for the opinions and behaviors of others.

 

 

 

 

“Love yourself. Forgive yourself. Be true to yourself. How you treat yourself sets the standard for how others will treat you.” – Steve Maraboli

 

 

 

 

Once you realize how amazing you really are, you will accept yourself with your perfections and imperfections, and you will start to love yourself, and once you do that, you will start to finally respect yourself, and you will decide to go after those things that makes you feel happy, and every decision you will ever make will be based in those things that push you forward, leaving behind those things that push you backwards.

We can’t make peace with our life if we don’t make peace with ourselves first, and we can only do that loving ourselves. The day you decide to love yourself, you will find peace, not because everything around you has changed, but because you have changed, and then you will not be a victim anymore, but a creator of your own destiny, going after people, situations and experiences that will make you be the best version of yourself you can be, and you will never accept something you don’t deserve again.

Decide to love yourself and make peace with you and with everyone around you, because the world and the humans suffering on it can only be healed by those people who truly love themselves, because those who truly love themselves, also love life, and when you love life and every being on it, you want to give them the best, so they can love themselves as well.

Your behavior is a reflection of what you have in your heart, if there is love, then you will love others, and you will receive it back multiplied.

Forgiveness will set you free

Forgiveness wil set you free

 

Forgiveness will set you free, once you choose to forgive, you choose to separate yourself from any negative outcome you had in the past, that still resounds in your present, forgiveness is not something you give to others, forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself.

 

 

We have wrong beliefs about what forgiveness really mean, and that is why we doubt every time we want to forgive. What we need to understand is that forgiveness is something you do for you; it seems as it something that you only do for another, but in fact, the result of forgiveness is something that will benefit you more than anyone else.

 

We see forgiveness as a gift to another, while that can have some benefits to others, and it can give some kind of peace in someone else’s life, it will never let someone to be free from being guilty, that is something that they have to do for themselves, they have to forgive themselves in order to be free.

 

“Forgive others, not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace.” –Jonathan Lockwood Huie.

 

We see the act of forgiveness as an act of weakness, but in fact it requires a lot of courage and strength to forgive, it’s the way that you have to step aside from the victim role, and see everything with a different perspective, and it will give you the power to control a situation, without giving it the opportunity to control your thoughts, emotions and life.

 

What someone does to another, is a way to reflect how they feel deep inside their heart, because when you feel happy, and you love yourself, there is no way that you can hurt someone else, it is always the one who has a broken heart, the one who breaks someone else’s heart.

 

“When another person makes you suffer, it is because he suffers deeply within himself, and his suffering is spilling over. He does not need punishment; he needs help. That’s the message he is sending.”- Thich Nhat Hanh

 

So the best way to forgive, in fact the way we have to never have a motive to forgive again, it is by never taking something personally, even though an action seems to be against you, for the only purpose of hurting you, it is something never really done against you, but rather something that people do for themselves.

 

Think it this way: all of us have done something against someone, so first of all, nobody is innocent, so anybody can find a good motive to do something according to their belief, but what I want you to understand is that when you do something bad to another human being, you do that against you too, because what you give, you receive, is that simple, nobody that do a negative action can have positive feeling about it, the negativity and positivity simply do not go together.

 

“Forgiveness doesn’t excuse their behavior, forgiveness prevents their behavior from destroying your heart.” – Unknown

 

So knowing that, it is a very useful way to not take anything personally, what it will give you the opportunity to see everything from another perspective, you will not see yourself as a victim any more, and you will understand what is really happening and why is it happening.

 

By allowing yourself to seeing everything from another perspective, will give you a different reality, and you will understand them and forgive them, because you know that whatever somebody is doing to you, it is doing to himself too, because as I said before you can never do a negative action against someone and expect a positive result out of it, so that person is the first victim of all the pain that he is causing.

 

“The weak can never forgive; forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” – Mahatma Gandhi

 

So allow yourself the gift of forgiveness, do not let any situation stop you from moving forward, and set you free from all pain and sadness from the past, using that as strength and as a motivation to keep getting better, because you do not want to be like them, and you don’t want them to win, being their victim, and you either want to be condemned for something you have done in the past, believe me, you are better than that!

 

Forgive others and forgive yourself from any past situation and you will be free!

Do Not Be Afraid to Be Alone

We live in a world, where being alone is something that scares us, that is why many time we lose ourselves, forgetting who we really are, being what we are not, in order to be accepted by others so we don’t have to face the dreaded solitude. But solitude is not something we should be scared of, but the opposite, as sometimes it is the best way to find ourselves.

 

“A man can be himself only so long as he is alone; and if he does not love solitude, he will not love freedom; for it is only when he is alone that he is really free.” - Arthur Schopenhauer

 

If we pay attention to what is happening around us, we can discover just by looking at people and their relationship with others, that actually being alone could be a benefit for our soul and life rather than a drawback, and you might be wondering why? Why it would be a benefit? Because being alone makes us reflect, it allows us to discover ourselves, because it is in the silence of our solitude where we can hear our inner voice. Solitude takes out the best version of ourselves, and it makes us find who we really are.

By being alone we allow us to move away from the outside world, and so we begin to think for ourselves, we question things, we start to find answers to our deepest questions, and sometimes that can be really hard, because it makes us realize that we were wrong in a lot of aspects in our life, especially in our idea of who we really are. So we start to listen to our own soul, and suddenly we find what we were looking for, we find ourselves.

 

 

 

”It’s beautiful to be alone. To be alone does not mean to be lonely. It means the mind is not influenced and contaminated by society.’’ – Jiddu Krishnamurti

 

 

 

Nowadays one of the biggest problem we are facing is that we actually don’t know who we really are, we just are what others wanted us to be, we are a product of society, so we accept that reality, but deep inside our hearts we feel incomplete, like if something was missing in ourselves, and so we found ourselves in the middle of a battle between the reality of our mind and the reality of our soul.

The problem is that not being alone with ourselves is blocking us to be what we really wanted to be. The fear of being alone makes us have the necessity to be with others, so we are what others want us to be in order to not be alone, or we surround ourselves with people who make us feel more lost, empty and the worst thing is that we find ourselves more alone than before.

 

 

 

 ”Don’t be scared to walk alone. Don’t be scared to like it.’’ – John Mayer

 

 

 

So I learned, that there is no way that you can find what you have been looking for, if you don’t start by loving to be with your own company. Once you know yourself and you do the things you love, and above all once you start loving yourself more you will learn that solitude is something that gives you the opportunity to be who you always wanted to be, and do the things you ever wanted to be. You will discover that being alone gives you wings to dream and discover a completely new you, without being affected and influenced by others, then you will enjoy life more, and everything that you have ever dreamed of will come true.

If we could just learn to be alone, enjoying our own company, we would find how amazing we really are, and what can we actually do without needing anyone else to do it. Therefore, do not be afraid to be alone, because it is not a punishment but a blessing, take advantage of it, and do not be afraid to talk and laugh with yourself. Enjoy your own company, do what you love to do, travel to the places you have always wanted to go, listen to your favorite music, or read your favorite book. Sometimes to be alone is what we need, because when we are only with ourselves we are free, and we are not influenced nor controlled by society, and that way we can enjoy being our true self.

 

 

 

”I think it’s very healthy to spend time alone. You need to know how to be alone and not be defined by another person.’’ – Oscar Wilde

 

 

 

Learn to be alone, do not be afraid to be only with yourself, love the silence, love your own voice, enjoy your own company, and feel comfortable being with your own soul. Learn to separate yourself from people who don’t let you be yourself, people who don’t let you grow and evolve.

When you stop being afraid to be alone, looking its positive side, you will learn to enjoy every second alone, and you become wiser at the time of choosing the people to whom surround yourself with. You will take your time to choose the right people, with no rush, without having the necessity to depend on others.

 

 

 

 ”I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone, it’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel all alone.’’ – Robin Williams

 

 

 

We are going to be alone many times in our lives, either by choice, or because there will be no other choice, sometimes we will face it abruptly, and in that moment can be very painful, but in that solitude that is not absolute, because nobody can be really alone if we learn to love our own company, you will find your own voice, you will listen to your soul, you will enjoy your own company, you will find yourself, and you will discover that being alone was not something negative, but very positive. Solitude is a gift if we know how to take advantage of it. You can change your situation at any time, you must simply change the way you see life.

 

 

 

Learn to love your own company, enjoy every moment with yourself, and change your life!