Tag Archives: personal

Don’t Take Anything Personally

Day after day we deliberately accept in our minds the venom of poisonous people with devastating consequences. Once in our minds, this venom annihilates our self-confidence and destroys our self-esteem and feelings of anger, hatred and resentment flood our minds. Cause: taking things too personally. Cure: living without the influence of other people’s opinions.  Are you taking things personally? Are you letting other people’s opinion and behaviors define your true self?

 

 

Don’t take anything personally, nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering. Don Miguel Ruiz

 

 

 

We go through life as we had a target hanging from our necks. We feel as if we were inoffensive deer grazing peacefully in the woods surrounded by heartless hunters waiting for the perfect moment to pull the trigger. Suddenly, that moment comes, the world freezes, the watch stops, and bang! Perfect shot, straight into our heads, we lie motionless, presumed deceased. The world begins to move again, we breathe, we are alive, we survived, but the scars are bleeding, the pain increases, and suddenly the pain becomes anger and the anger commence to rule our lives. Resentment becomes our ally.

The problem is that our constantly need for acceptance and our desperate search for everyone’s approval has become a necessity in order to maintain an acceptable reputation to society, and this reputation, or our own reputation about our own selves is severely affected when we encounter ourselves being the target of someone’s attacks, that is the main reason why we take things so personally, because that person is preventing us from achieving our goal of being accepted by every single human in our society. It damages our ego, diminishes our self-confidence and put ourselves at the edge of collapse.

 

 

“What other people think of you is not your business. If you start to make that business your business, you will be offended for the rest of your life.” – Deepak Chopra

 

 

Therefore, taking things personally and unhappiness are connected. But, is there such thing as an everlasting happiness? Well, There are many keys and ideas of how can one be happy, but this question continues to be an existential doubt for most of us. However, through the years we have discovered important keys to unhappiness. One of them is taking things personally, when we do this, we expose ourselves, we put ourselves in a place of extreme vulnerability, putting our own happiness in someone else’s hands. When we take things personally, we condemn ourselves to a life of misery and resentment, we sabotage our own capabilities of achieving all our dreams and goals, and we deny ourselves the possibility of having a happy life.

When someone attacks you in any way in the end they never have something personal with you but rather they have something personal with themselves. The only time when you can take things personally is when you have attacked them or hurt them in any way first. For example, let’s imagine the case where you insult someone else’s mother, if the person gives you a punch in the face, you can take it personally, nevertheless, in the end, it always comes down to the fact that someone’s reaction and behavior against others is never something personal with them but with their own selves, no matter if they think they have an excuse for acting that way.

 

 

“There is a huge amount of freedom that comes to you when you take nothing personally.” — Miguel Ruiz.

 

 

Not taking things personally from the people that surrounds you is not something we can learn overnight, but is rather an every day commitment, but there is nothing more rewarding that gaining that level of freedom and become immune to other people’s opinions, immune to other people’s criticism, immune to other people’s judgements, immune to other people’s aggression. The real truth is that other people’s behaviors and attitudes toward you do not define nor categorize you, not damage your reputation, do not condemn you, but they rather do all of that onto them. Every actions and behaviors, every thoughts and opinions of others are only a reflection of their own souls, they do not indicate who you are, but they indicate who they are. Therefore, do not take things personally, and you will have found the key to your own personal development, you will broaden your limitations and you will declare, loudly and fearless to the world:  “I do not seek to belong, I do not seek to be accepted, nobody defines me nor limits me, I am immune to the poisonous souls that seek to destroy me, I am an utterly and completely free soul.”

 

 

 

 

Learn to not take things personally, release your soul from the need to get everyone’s approval and become immune to other people’s criticism, opinions and behaviors and you will have discovered one of the keys to success and your personal development. 

Adversity: An Opportunity for Personal Development

Is in the moments of difficulty when a man can find the way to the discovery of his greatest self. When adversity knocks our door, we have different options:  We can embrace it and transform it into an opportunity for personal development, we can let it rule our feelings, emotions and our daily lives, limiting our possibility for development, growth and evolution, or we can do nothing about it, letting a great opportunity pass. What we choose to do in the face of adversity will determine our defeat or our victory.

 

 

"It is your reaction to adversity, not the adversity itself, that determines how your life’s story will develop." - Dieter F. Uchtdorf

 

 

The truth about adversity is that it possess within a seed that contains the key to our own personal growth. In those moments in our lives, when our external circumstances change, sometimes abruptly, sometimes expecting it, sometimes not, and adversity crosses our path, we feel lost, we feel confused, we do not know what to do, and we scream, we cry, it paralyzes us, and we get stuck. From one moment to another, adversity becomes real, the pain becomes real, but there is also an opportunity in all that struggle that becomes real. An opportunity to grow, to improve ourselves, to evolve and to become the best version of ourselves.

Adversity will challenge us, will make us suffer, will create chaos in our lives, it will make our world tremble, but it will push ourselves forward, it will stretch us to a point that will make us exceed our own limits, and will discover the greatness that we all carry within. We cannot avoid adversity, but we can embrace it and take the most out of it, and once again, the way to do that is by seeing it as an opportunity for spiritual growth and personal development.

 

 

“You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it.” – Maya Angelou

 

 

It is through the phase of adversity when one can reach its maximum potential. One day I was doing a tour in a winery and I remember when the guide told us about the vineyards located in high altitude. I am not a professional in the area but for what I learned, these vineyards produce a high quality wine, and the particular taste of this wines is caused by different factors, as temperature, the characteristics of the soil, thermal amplitude, and sunlight intensity. The grapes in those vineyards are exposed to different factors and they struggle to survive, and through adversity they develop a variety of exceptional characteristics that produce a unique wine.

What I learned about them? That if we not succumb, if we not surrender, but rather if we rise and face adversity with courage, commitment and perseverance, we will overcome adversity, becoming a better version of ourselves. It all depends on how we react in the face of adversity. It is our attitude and not our current circumstances what really shape our destiny. We cannot change what happened to us, but we can change the way we react to it.

 

 

“In the middle of every difficulty lies opportunity.” – Albert Einstein

 

 

Are we going to let it kill us, or are we going to do everything we can in order to transform it into an opportunity to become the best version of ourselves? Adversity can transform our lives into a hell, but that hell, no matter how horrible it is, cannot define who we are without our consent. You are the only one who can define who you really are. Your thoughts and your actions will give you a certain experience, and that experience will create your reality.

 

 

 

 

See the opportunity in every difficulty, and transform adversity into an opportunity to become the best version of yourself. Try to see everything with a different perspective, think positive thoughts, learn, improve yourself, do not give up, have faith, stay strong, do everything you can in order to change your reality, and you will become your own hero!