Tag Archives: Past

The Battle Between Us and Our Past

Sometimes in a person’s life, a battle takes place between him and his past. This battle occurs in that person’s present. The past controls and conditions its present, and the person becomes the victim of its past, and his whole life is covered with suffering. But is the past the true cause of suffering? If this battle is real, how can we win?

 

 

the-secret-of-change-is-to-focus-all-of-your-energy-not-on-fighting-the-old-but-on-building-the-new-dan-millman

 

 

Imagine with me for a moment that we are witnessing a trial, a fictional trial. Today the court is going to dictate the sentence. The victim is a woman, and the defendant its past. The woman accused it for destroying her life. According to her, everything that happened to her and every person involved in her past have caused a permanent damage in her life. She expressed that her present has been conditioned by the things that happened or didn’t happened and by the persons that caused them. She claimed that her past is the first and only cause of all suffering she experiences in her present.

The trial takes place, and after several hours of debate, it is time for the verdict. After reviewing the case very carefully, the court makes a decision. The defendant is exonerated from all charges and the victim is found guilty and it is convicted to a life in prison, with the exemption that she will not be behind the bars, but she will be attached to the defendant, her past, for the rest of her life. Having a life of misery and despair.

 

 

 

 

“Too often, we carry around those things from our past that hurt us the most. Don’t let past pain rob you of your present happiness. You had to live through it in the past, and that cannot be changed, but if the only place it lives today is in your mind, then forgive, let go, and be free.” – Doe Zantamata

 

 

 

 

In this trial, the past is accused of causing suffering and permanent damage in this woman’s present. Then, why it is exonerated from all charges? How come the victim is declared guilty and the accused innocent? Because they are not judging situations, experiences and people of her past, they are judging it for causing pain in her present, and for the court the only cause of suffering of this woman in her present is herself, for the past itself can’t cause suffering in a place where it doesn’t exist, and it cease to exist in the present, the only one who can keep the past alive in the present is oneself in one’s mind, therefore, if we remain attached to it in our present, we are guilty of our present suffering.

When we become victims of our past, we immediately condemn ourselves to a life in prison. When we refuse to let it go by remaining attached to it, we take the role of victims, and in the end, the only thing we get is more and more suffering. The truth is, we cannot change what happened, no matter how painful it might have been, but we can change our present. We can decide to let go of the past, quitting the role of victims, and releasing ourselves from the hard sentence.

 

 

 

“Today is a new day. Don’t let your history interfere with your destiny! Let today be the day you stop being a victim of your circumstances and start taking action towards the life you want. You have the power and the time to shape your life. Break free from the poisonous victim mentality and embrace the truth of your greatness. You were not meant for a mundane or mediocre life!” – Steve Maraboli

 

 

 

 

Our past may have been our worst nightmare, we may have suffered, things in our past may have damaged us, people may have hurt us, and we can have all the right to feel victims, but by being a victim with all our resentment and hate we are not going to change what happened, nor we are going to feel better, but slowly and painfully those feelings will consume our own souls. Our past might never be of our liking, and maybe we will never overcome all the things that happened to us, but if we do not cease to be its victims, if we do not let it go, we will carry it as a burden in our backs, condemning ourselves to a life of misery.

It is a hard battle the one that is carried out between you and your past, but the victory is possible. To obtain it, to finally defeat it, there is a few things you need to do, but the first thing is to stop fighting with it. Let it go, accept it, forgive, let go of resentment, learn, those are useful things you can do to cease with your suffering. End this useless battle, and take back the control of your feelings, emotions and your entire life.

 

 

 

 

 

Stop being a victim of your past, letting it go, cutting all attachments to it, cleansing your body, soul and mind from all resentment, and starting again, only then you will heal your heart, end with all suffering and you will become free to start a new life!

Learning to Let Go of Attachment

Most of our struggles come from our attachment to things, people, situations and many other things. The problem is we become dependent on those things in order to survive, putting ourselves in a place of extreme vulnerability. In the case that we lose what we are attached to, a life of distress and struggle is inevitable. Therefore, to avoid so much suffering, we must detach ourselves from everything that we can lose, and free ourselves from any attachment.

 

 The root of suffering is attachment. Buddha

 

 

Living attached to places, things, people, jobs, situations, and any other thing is the key to a life of struggle. I know, it sounds pretty extreme, but the truth is, the more attached we are, the more we suffer, because the more attached we are, the more we fear, and the more we fear, the more we suffer. We depend so much in something, that the merely idea of losing it tears our heart apart. The problem is when our happiness lasts as long as the things we are attached to do not change, do not transform in something else, or cease to exist.

Every attachment limits us, submits us, controls us, and completely dominates us. It limits us because it doesn’t let us be completely ourselves, because sometimes being ourselves would mean the inevitable loss of that we are attached to, submits us because it makes us do certain things in order to avoid losing it, it controls us because it makes us behave in a special way, and dominates us because all our existence depends on the lasting of the things we are attached to.

 

 

 

“Most of our troubles are due to our passionate desire for and attachment to things that we misapprehend as enduring entities.” – Dalai Lama

 

 

 

Does that mean that we can’t have any kind of feelings? Can’t we love, or be passionate about something, or like something very much? How can we be happy if we can’t just simply be humans? Well, that’s the thing, we are humans, we feel, and that is the beauty to be alive. Having all those wonderful emotions makes us feel alive, and gives meaning to our lives. The problem starts when we become dependents of relationships, material goods, jobs, places, outcomes or situation in order to keep feeling the way we feel.

Therefore, it is not feeling in a special way about someone or something the problem, because the problem is when our happiness depends on that. If the lack of something or someone or if the change of something in our lives creates suffering in us, then is our attachment what is truly bringing us sorrow, it is not love, or the passion we have about something, but is our dependence, our attachment . There is something worth remembering and that is the difference between attachment and a connection where an attachment creates in us the fear of losing something, while a connection gives and receives at the same time, feeding your soul.

 

 

 

“Renew, release, let go. Yesterday’s gone. There’s nothing you can do to bring it back. You can’t “should’ve” done something. You can only DO something. Renew yourself. Release that attachment. Today is a new day!” – Steve Maraboli

 

 

 

So what to do then? Free yourself from any attachment. Don’t limit yourself thinking that you can’t have a life, that you can’t be happy or successful if you don’t posses a certain thing, if you are not with a special person, if you are not doing a special thing, or if you not live in a certain place. If you have come to the place you are now, it is not because of someone or something, it’s because of you. You are the creator of your own life, therefore, if there is someone you need to depend on, it’s yourself. Without you, there is nothing, so don’t seek somewhere else what you have to seek within yourself.

A connection, a special bond between you and what you like and love is inevitable, it is not avoiding that connection what we should seek to achieve, but not depending on it to survive. We should not let our attachment confuse us, believing that we need someone or something in order to be happy, having the idea that those things, that job, that place, that situation or relationship is the determining factor of our happiness. A job, a career, a place, any material thing, a person, or a special situation can bring us joy and happiness, but those feelings should never be conditioned for the lack of those things.

 

 

 

“Detachment is not that you should own nothing, but that nothing should own you.” – Ali ibn abi Talib

 

 

 

There is nothing greater thing than being free, and the freedom that we obtain by letting go of attachment is something that truly benefits us. So the key is not in being cold, without feelings, but learning to love, without needing anything in return, being free to be whoever you want, and do whatever you want without being limited from any attachment. The most important thing is living in the moment, whatever happened in the past cannot be changed, whatever will happen in the future didn’t happen yet, so why ruining your life by being attached to a past that is gone or to a future that hasn’t arrived yet? Life changes all the time, knowing that nothing is permanent, living in the moment, and cutting the ropes to any attachment is the key for a happy life.

 

 

 

 

Give to your passions, give to every people, and give to everything you want the power of your love, but do not give them the power to destroy you! Learn to let go of attachment, and give yourself the gift of living a happy life!

Is your past still present in your life?

Sometimes our past is more present than we think, and that is one of the reasons why we are still standing in the same place in our present. The problem is that everything that is related with our past, that we haven’t let go is still interfering with our present, and prevents us from moving forward. For that reason, in order to achieve our desired goals and dreams and create our future, we must first remove our past from our present.

 

 "Without freedom from the past, there is no freedom at all." - Jiddu Krishnamurti

 

How many things that are related with your past are still living in your present? And with that I do not only mean only material things, but memories, thoughts, feelings, people and experiences. What place does your past occupy in your present? Does it occupy a huge part or small part in your life? How much of it are still alive in your heart?

Try to reflect about your life and your present, try to relax and calm down from your daily obligations and pressures, and when you are ready look around you, and look inside of you: Can you see your past dominating your present? Are your past emotions and feelings blocking you from moving forward? Is stopping you from achieving your goals and desires? Are your past experiences and emotions influencing your present and making decisions for you?

 

 

 

 

“Holding on is believing that there’s only a past; letting go is knowing that there’s a future.” – Daphne Rose Kingma

 

 

 

If the answer is no, well done! You have done a great job getting rid from your past and you are living your present to the fullest, without being influenced by it. But if the answer is yes, my next question will be: Does your past serve you in your present? That is to say, it is giving you the results you have been looking for? It is useful in your present? It is helping you in any way or,  it is simply blocking you from getting the things you want to get?

The thing is our past does not have to be always a disadvantage in our present life, as long as the reason of being in our present is to take the best out of ourselves and give us strength. Our past, whether if was good or bad, is always a lesson, a lesson we should learn, so we can apply the knowledge acquired in our present, and at the same time, it should never be forgotten, so we do not repeat the same actions again. That is the important part of it, and the one that we should keep in our present, together with memories that lift our heart and brighten our days.

 

 

 

“The mental and physical space we create by letting go of things that belong in our past gives us the option to fill the space with something new.” – Susan Fay West

 

 

 

Everything from your past that not serves you in your present, does not bring any benefits in your life, any bad memory, or relationship, or good and bad experiences, every emotion, every person, as well as every thing including material things from our past that doesn’t help us in any way should be removed from our present to leave space for new and better things.

If our heart, mind and our environment is full of things from our past that does not make us grow, make us better, make us happy, or make us be the person we want to be and have the things we want to get, Why we should keep them if it is not only to sabotage our own lives? Why we should keep it alive when it kills our present and destroys our future? We have a chain around our necks that is leaving us without breath and that chain is our past, why keep living like that when we have the key to our own freedom?

 

 

 

“You’ve got to make a conscious choice every day to shed the old – whatever ‘the old’ means for you.” – Sarah Ban Breathnach

 

 

 

Today is the right day to clean your heart, mind and your whole life and take away from them all the things from your past that do not serve you anymore. Take all those  things, people, memories, experiences and feelings that do not make you happy, or make you grow, or make you the person you want to be, even those that may seem good, because everything that is from the past has nothing to do with your present, neither your future, they may have been bad or painful, or good or great but they are the past and we have to let them go, so we can move forward and leave space for those great things that are waiting for us.

What would be the first thing that does not serve you anymore in any way? What is that memory, thing, emotion or experience from your past that is stopping you from moving forward? Start with it, and without thinking it too much: just let it go!

 

 

 

It is time to grab a bag, put the things from our past that do not serve us in our present, and throw them away, and make space for all the great things that are yet to come!

A New Year: Hundreds of New Opportunities

Why the New Year is a motive to celebrate? Because life will give us 365 new opportunities to enjoy life and be happy, that is why in this time of the year our hearts are filled with dreams, desires and hope. Deep inside our hearts, we believe that this one could be the year where we can do everything we have always wanted to do, making our dreams and goals become a reality, and that is in fact true. The question will be: Are you 100% committed to give your best this year? The answer will determine your future.

 

"Tomorrow, is the first blank page of a 365 page book. Write a good one." - Brad Paisley 

 At 00:00 am on the first day of the year, we raise our glasses and make a toast for the New Year, and with joy we look into the future with hope. We remember the year that is gone but we look forward to the next year. Most of us think about all the things we wanted to do that we haven’t done in the last year and we wish that this year we can do all the things we have always wanted to do. That is the spirit of this time of the year, the spirit of believing that everything is possible.

The problem is that after a few days, that spirit is overshadowed by our daily routine, worries, fears and problems, and once again we leave aside all our goals, desires and dreams. Therefore, we leave everything to chance and when that happens there is a large percentage of probabilities that we are not going to do most of the things we wanted to do. That means, that we sabotage our own life, forbidding us to live the life of our dreams.

 

 

 

“All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.” – Walt Disney

 

 

 

The truth is we do not know all the things that will happen to us, but that doesn’t mean we should leave everything to chance, but we should do everything we can in order to create the kind of life that will bring us the greatest joy and happiness. Therefore, we must use these days to reflect about the year that is ending, that way we can welcome the New Year more prepared, being the creators of our future and not simply gambling about our life. It is important to know that we are where we are now because we wanted that way, therefore, if we want a different outcome, we should do something in a different way.

Let’s take this time to relax and reflect about this year. Have you done most of the things you have always wanted? Have you reached most of your goals? Have you invested most of the time in yourself? Have you been most of the time happy and joyful? What could you have done different? Have you learned something new? Have you grown up as a person? Are you happy with the person you have been? Have you worked hard in order to be a few step closer from your dream? Have you truly enjoyed your life? My friend, that is the most important question of all, so I will write it one more time: Have you truly enjoyed your life?

 

 

 

“Change your life today. Don’t gamble on the future, act now, without delay.” – Simone de Beauvoir

 

 

 

That is important, because no matter what happened, if you have been able to enjoy your life, that is all that matters. Life is meant to be happy with its good and bad things. The good things are the best but the bad things are lessons, opportunities and tests that life gives us in order to take out the best of ourselves. Think about all those questions, take your time to relax and reflect and then leave the past, forget what doesn’t serve you, remember the lessons, learn from your mistakes and keep all the good things from this year, and with hope and confidence move into this new year with joy.

Once we finish, we must focus on the year that is about to arrive, and the most important question will be: What do you really want to happen to you this year?  Once you know the answer, think about these questions: What can you do now to improve your future? What can you do this year to get closer to your dreams? Which is the first step? What can you do in order to become the best version of yourself? Think about the things that make you happy and then go out and make it happen. Think about them and write them, and take the actions that will make everything possible.

 

 

 

There is no right time, the time is always now. The good thing is that it doesn’t really matter in what time of the year we are, because every new day is a new opportunity to do the things we always wanted to do and be happy. There is no time to waste, time flies, time is limited, so go out and make this year a wonderful year!

Every Ending is Always a New Beginning

Every ending is always a new beginning. When something ends, something new begins and a new beginning is always a new opportunity. Learning to see the end of something as an opportunity rather than a punishment would help to change our whole life experience in the moment when we begin a new chapter in our lives.

 "There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind." - C.S. Lewis #new #beginning

 

Every ending that I have experienced in my life was because something better was coming. If my life had never been full with endings and changes, everything that I have experienced in my life would have never happened. I am where I am now because something in my past have changed. Something that has ended in my past has allowed me to have new opportunities and challenges in my life, and the outcomes I got were always positive.

If you look into your past, everything that has ended has allowed you to be where you are now. In my case many things have ended: relationships, jobs, working visas, and those endings had led me to the place I am now. The life that I have is the result of many endings. Every single new opportunity and new challenge that I have experienced was possible because an ending had taken place in my past.

 

 

 

“For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.” – Romans 8:18

 

 

 

The problem is we normally see the end of something as the end of everything, especially when we were not looking for that ending. In those moments when something ends, it is very difficult to see a new beginning. For instance, when a relationship ends, we normally do not see that as a new beginning or as a new opportunity, we see that as a painful ending, and the sorrow and frustration we feel in our hearts in those cases consume our spirit, making it impossible for us to see that as new beginning.

Endings are most of the time very difficult to accept, even if we were looking for that ending, because it is always hard to start again. Some endings are easier to digest and other endings are so painful that tears our heart apart. Those kind of endings paralyzes our world, and nothing in our lives seems to make sense. But there is always a reason why things happen in the way they happened. Every ending, no matter how hard it is, it is always a new opportunity in disguise.

 

 

 

“New Beginnings are often disguised as painful endings.” – Lao Tzu

 

 

 

But how can we see an ending as a new beginning? How can we see an opportunity between so much sorrow, frustration and uncertainty? The answer is: by living in the present. There is no other way we can live. The past is gone and the future has not arrived yet. The only place where we can truly live is in our present. Therefore, we must focus all our energies not in trying to change our past but to focus all our energy in creating our present moment. This very moment is all we have, therefore, we must focus our mind in the things we would like to experience in our life rather in what we do not want. We cannot change what happened, but we can change how we experience what is going on in our present moment. This way, we would be able to see the opportunities that we were missing by only focusing in what is gone.

When something ends, something new begins. We must remember than when a door closes, others open. When a chapter ends, another begins, and is in our own hands the possibility to write a new and most wonderful story. Therefore, we must focus not in the old chapter, that has already been written, and we cannot change it, but we can always write a new one. This new chapter, this blank paper is our new opportunity, and we can create anything we want. We are the creators of our own destiny.

 

 

 

“The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.” – Dan Millman

 

 

 

An ending is always a new beginning. Therefore, we have the opportunity to start again. We must let go of what is gone, to allow in our life what is waiting for us. Life is always changing, and that is what makes this life to be so rich and wonderful. Today you can make two decisions: You can decide to live tied to an end, living in your past with sorrow and pain, or you can decide to let go of what is gone and start a new life. You can choose to live in your present, and use it as a canvas to create the life that will bring you happiness and joy.

 

 

Trust life and believe that better things are coming. Embrace the end as a new beginning, and with faith and confidence keep moving in the direction of your dreams!

Our past doesn’t define who we are

Our past doesn’t define who we are, because we are not our past, but we are what we choose to be at this very moment. Somehow we have accepted the concept that our past define who we are, but the truth is that our past cannot define us, but we define ourselves through our behaviours and actions of our present.

 

"Do not give your past the power to define who you are." 

 

Our past doesn’t define us, because the past is gone. The only thing that is here is our present, and what we have chosen to be now is what really define us. In every sunrise, each new day, at any time, we have the opportunity to decide who we are going to be. If you let your past situations define you, if you let others define you, if your let your past behaviours, thoughts and actions define you, if you let external circumstances and things out of your control define you, you will become their slave, but if you decide to be the best version of yourself right here, right now, regardless your past and the person you used to be, then you will become free from any attachment with your old self, having the possibility to be your true self.

The problem is when we fail to be the person we really are by the thoughts and beliefs we have put in our minds about who we are, condemning ourselves to be the person who we are not, for the rest of our lives. There is no greater agony than the one you suffer when you start to believe that you are the person that deep inside your heart you know you are not, repressing and hiding your full potential.

 

 

 

“My past has not defined me, destroyed me, deterred me, or defeated me; it has only strengthened me.” – Steve Maraboli

 

 

 

But the worst issue of all is when people start to believe in the person you are not, because once they accept that person as your true self, they will categorize and define you, and the concept they create in their minds about you rarely changes, what makes everything more difficult for you. That is why the process to change yourself for a better you is not easy, because you must walk the path alone. You will have to face your own misconceptions about yourself, you will have to forgive yourself, forget others opinions about you, and then you will have to accept yourself as you really are and act upon it. The important thing is to believe in yourself, because you create your own destiny and not others, therefore, their opinions about you are absolutely useless.

We all have done and said things that we regret, but what is the point of regretting the person we used to be if that won’t change anything from our past? But what we can change is our present. The key is to embrace the person we used to be, because in a certain way that person shaped us, and released our true self. Our past has defined us, because in the way we acted, but now we define ourselves through our present actions and behaviours, the question is: Are we going to keep letting our past to define us by acting as in our past or are we going to redefine ourselves and act according to our true self?

 

 

 

 “Success in any endeavour depends on the degree to which it is an expression of your true self.” – Ralph Marston

 

 

 

We are not our past, we are not our past decisions, we are not our mistakes, we are not our past behaviours, but we are what we choose to be right now, and that is all that matters. The consequences of our past actions cannot be avoided, but we can avoid being the person we are not. We grow, we change, we evolve, and in that way we discover and create our true self, and that is success.

 

 

 

Nobody defines who we are, not even our past nor our old self, but we define ourselves. In this present moment we have the opportunity to decide and express our true self and release the greatness within us. Forgive yourself, accept your true self, love yourself, become the best version of yourself and change your life!

Resentment is poison for your life

Resentment is poison for your life, as it’s made with the perfect and lethal combination of fear, disappointment, anger and sadness, and this is one of the best recipes for suffering. If you want to live a happy life, you will have to let go of your resentment.

 

 

Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.

 

 

Resentment is what forbids us to recreate ourselves anew, because it ties us to past situations where we felt humiliated, sad, disappointed or angry, so instead of living in the present, we live tied to our past, and we repeat those past feelings over and over again, even if what we are going through in this present moment doesn’t have any kind of similarity with past situations.

We think resentment is the way to make justice for all those moments where someone made us feel bad with no reason, so we use our resentment as a way to justify our current behavior against life and people. What we most of the time don’t know is that resentment doesn’t punish anyone, but to the person who carries it, because resentment contaminates the heart and soul of those who suffer it.

 

 

 

 

As smoking is to the lungs, so is resentment to the soul; even one puff is bad for you.” – Elizabeth Gilbert

 

 

 

 

Resentment puts you limits, because it won’t allow you to be the best version of yourself. Resentment defines you, and makes you act according to what you are not, instead of allowing yourself to be the person you really are. Resentment blurs your vision and shrinks your perspective, gives you wrong beliefs or not allows you to change them, so it can control your feelings, and becomes the leader of your emotions and behaviors.

The problem of living under the control of our resentments is that we experience those unpleasant feelings we felt in the past over and over again, because we are attached to our a past, and so we bring back those feelings to the present, keeping them alive year after year, and when that happens we cannot see with clarity, and so we compare current situations with past situations even though they don’t have any kind of connection between them, and this happens because we are so contaminated with our resentment that we cannot see the difference.

The truth is resentment never helps us in any way, but rather consumes our soul and punishes us with a heavy charge we must carry in our backs through our life, and true peace and happiness cannot be found if we don’t release the weight we carry in ourselves. Once you let go of your resentment you will feel at peace, and you will have back the power to create yourself anew at any moment you wish. You will decide how something will affect you, depending in how you feel at that moment, and you will not be influenced by your past any more, what gives you totally freedom to be who you want to be, and to feel what you want to feel without being influenced by your resentment.

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Bitterness and resentment only hurt one person, and it’s not the person we’re resenting – it’s us.” – Alana Stewart

 

 

 

 

 

You may be wondering: how can I let go of my resentment? And according to my experiences, what made me let go of that heavy charge was: Forgiveness. That is the key to release any attachment to any unpleasant situation from your past, what makes you be fully present in this moment, giving you the power to create yourself anew, what gives you the ability to see what is really happening so you can judge a situation according to your beliefs and emotions, what will give you better feelings and a much wider perspective, without letting resentment influence your present.

 

 

 

 

 

Resentment will disappear from your life if you forgive your past and those who have hurt you. The best way to do that is by releasing those toxic emotions that are holding you back. Express your emotions and don’t keep them in your heart, open your mouth, express yourself and release them. Your resentment will never let you enjoy your life, it won’t let you see a new reality, so let go of your resentment, and release your soul from any attachment to your past!