Tag Archives: Opinions

Don’t Take Anything Personally

Day after day we deliberately accept in our minds the venom of poisonous people with devastating consequences. Once in our minds, this venom annihilates our self-confidence and destroys our self-esteem and feelings of anger, hatred and resentment flood our minds. Cause: taking things too personally. Cure: living without the influence of other people’s opinions.  Are you taking things personally? Are you letting other people’s opinion and behaviors define your true self?

 

 

Don’t take anything personally, nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering. Don Miguel Ruiz

 

 

 

We go through life as we had a target hanging from our necks. We feel as if we were inoffensive deer grazing peacefully in the woods surrounded by heartless hunters waiting for the perfect moment to pull the trigger. Suddenly, that moment comes, the world freezes, the watch stops, and bang! Perfect shot, straight into our heads, we lie motionless, presumed deceased. The world begins to move again, we breathe, we are alive, we survived, but the scars are bleeding, the pain increases, and suddenly the pain becomes anger and the anger commence to rule our lives. Resentment becomes our ally.

The problem is that our constantly need for acceptance and our desperate search for everyone’s approval has become a necessity in order to maintain an acceptable reputation to society, and this reputation, or our own reputation about our own selves is severely affected when we encounter ourselves being the target of someone’s attacks, that is the main reason why we take things so personally, because that person is preventing us from achieving our goal of being accepted by every single human in our society. It damages our ego, diminishes our self-confidence and put ourselves at the edge of collapse.

 

 

“What other people think of you is not your business. If you start to make that business your business, you will be offended for the rest of your life.” – Deepak Chopra

 

 

Therefore, taking things personally and unhappiness are connected. But, is there such thing as an everlasting happiness? Well, There are many keys and ideas of how can one be happy, but this question continues to be an existential doubt for most of us. However, through the years we have discovered important keys to unhappiness. One of them is taking things personally, when we do this, we expose ourselves, we put ourselves in a place of extreme vulnerability, putting our own happiness in someone else’s hands. When we take things personally, we condemn ourselves to a life of misery and resentment, we sabotage our own capabilities of achieving all our dreams and goals, and we deny ourselves the possibility of having a happy life.

When someone attacks you in any way in the end they never have something personal with you but rather they have something personal with themselves. The only time when you can take things personally is when you have attacked them or hurt them in any way first. For example, let’s imagine the case where you insult someone else’s mother, if the person gives you a punch in the face, you can take it personally, nevertheless, in the end, it always comes down to the fact that someone’s reaction and behavior against others is never something personal with them but with their own selves, no matter if they think they have an excuse for acting that way.

 

 

“There is a huge amount of freedom that comes to you when you take nothing personally.” — Miguel Ruiz.

 

 

Not taking things personally from the people that surrounds you is not something we can learn overnight, but is rather an every day commitment, but there is nothing more rewarding that gaining that level of freedom and become immune to other people’s opinions, immune to other people’s criticism, immune to other people’s judgements, immune to other people’s aggression. The real truth is that other people’s behaviors and attitudes toward you do not define nor categorize you, not damage your reputation, do not condemn you, but they rather do all of that onto them. Every actions and behaviors, every thoughts and opinions of others are only a reflection of their own souls, they do not indicate who you are, but they indicate who they are. Therefore, do not take things personally, and you will have found the key to your own personal development, you will broaden your limitations and you will declare, loudly and fearless to the world:  “I do not seek to belong, I do not seek to be accepted, nobody defines me nor limits me, I am immune to the poisonous souls that seek to destroy me, I am an utterly and completely free soul.”

 

 

 

 

Learn to not take things personally, release your soul from the need to get everyone’s approval and become immune to other people’s criticism, opinions and behaviors and you will have discovered one of the keys to success and your personal development. 

The Importance of Tolerance

This world has become a world with zero tolerance. Our lack of tolerance with others opinions and beliefs has created this chaotic and maddening separation between human beings. The result of such separation? sadness, suffering, despair, hatred and death. A world without tolerance is a world without peace, and a world without peace is a threat to our very existence.

 "Tolerance is giving to every other human being every right that you claim for yourself." - Robert Green Ingersoll

 

What has made us think that our beliefs are better than others? What has made us think that we are the bearers of absolute truth? What has made us think that we can condemn others for thinking in a different way than us? How is it possible that we commit horrendous acts all in the name of our beliefs as a way of excusing ourselves?

The problem is that we all believe that we have the ultimate truth about something, we believe that our thoughts and beliefs are the right ones, and that the other ones are wrong, what has given us the impunity to act as we do, to condemn and punish others for the only motive of thinking different from us. This has caused not only the separation between nations, but between people all around the world. Families, friendships, relationships of all kind have been destroyed by the lack of tolerance of their own occupants.

 

 

“What is tolerance? It is the consequence of humanity. We are all formed of frailty and error; let us pardon reciprocally each other’s folly – that is the first law of nature.” – Voltaire

 

 

We all consider ourselves tolerant and we ask others for tolerance, but the truth is we are all tolerant as long as the other person agrees with our opinions and beliefs, but tolerance is nothing more and nothing less than understanding others point of view. Tolerance does not involve having to agree with someone else’s opinion or having to share the same belief but involves the understanding of others perceptions about life and different matters.

Freedom is having the opportunity to believe in something, having our own personal opinion about a certain thing without being influenced or forced to do it. There is a huge diversity of thought, and that is what makes this world so interesting and beautiful, otherwise freedom would not exist, and we would become slaves of a tyrannical regime, and as our past has taught us, that is not a happy story.

 

 

 

“Tolerance implies no lack of commitment to one’s own beliefs. Rather it condemns the oppression or persecution of others.” – John F. Kennedy

 

 

Sports, religion, politics, money, and other matters are a prove that we lack tolerance.  We fight, we hate and we kill each other only because someone else doesn’t agree with our beliefs or doesn’t have the same opinion as us. The question is: Why do we want others to agree with us when we do no not want to agree with them? Because “My football team is much better than yours” “My God is much more great and powerful than yours” “My country is better and far richer than yours” “The political party I follow is better than the one you follow” “I am intelligent and you are an ignorant!” “I know more than you do” and so on.

Do you recognize those phrases? I do. I have said them and I’ve heard them from many people. We all believe we have the truth, and we believe that the other is wrong, and we want them to change their beliefs to satisfy our ego. The truth is this does not construct but destroys, and there is no more ignorance than thinking we are the special ones, the lucky owners of absolute truth about life. I mean, it is okay to discuss an idea, what is not okay is to not understand and comprehend that we all not think in the same way, and basically that is the idea of life: To be as free to think and believe what we want without needing the approval of someone else.

 

 

Everyone has different perspective about life, different points of view, and so we need to understand that in order to avoid unnecessary suffering, hate and despair, pointless fights and war, to protect ourselves, our world, and our whole existence. Let’s be more tolerant with others opinions and beliefs, and live in peace!