Tag Archives: Learn

Learning to Let Go of Attachment

Most of our struggles come from our attachment to things, people, situations and many other things. The problem is we become dependent on those things in order to survive, putting ourselves in a place of extreme vulnerability. In the case that we lose what we are attached to, a life of distress and struggle is inevitable. Therefore, to avoid so much suffering, we must detach ourselves from everything that we can lose, and free ourselves from any attachment.

 

 The root of suffering is attachment. Buddha

 

 

Living attached to places, things, people, jobs, situations, and any other thing is the key to a life of struggle. I know, it sounds pretty extreme, but the truth is, the more attached we are, the more we suffer, because the more attached we are, the more we fear, and the more we fear, the more we suffer. We depend so much in something, that the merely idea of losing it tears our heart apart. The problem is when our happiness lasts as long as the things we are attached to do not change, do not transform in something else, or cease to exist.

Every attachment limits us, submits us, controls us, and completely dominates us. It limits us because it doesn’t let us be completely ourselves, because sometimes being ourselves would mean the inevitable loss of that we are attached to, submits us because it makes us do certain things in order to avoid losing it, it controls us because it makes us behave in a special way, and dominates us because all our existence depends on the lasting of the things we are attached to.

 

 

 

“Most of our troubles are due to our passionate desire for and attachment to things that we misapprehend as enduring entities.” – Dalai Lama

 

 

 

Does that mean that we can’t have any kind of feelings? Can’t we love, or be passionate about something, or like something very much? How can we be happy if we can’t just simply be humans? Well, that’s the thing, we are humans, we feel, and that is the beauty to be alive. Having all those wonderful emotions makes us feel alive, and gives meaning to our lives. The problem starts when we become dependents of relationships, material goods, jobs, places, outcomes or situation in order to keep feeling the way we feel.

Therefore, it is not feeling in a special way about someone or something the problem, because the problem is when our happiness depends on that. If the lack of something or someone or if the change of something in our lives creates suffering in us, then is our attachment what is truly bringing us sorrow, it is not love, or the passion we have about something, but is our dependence, our attachment . There is something worth remembering and that is the difference between attachment and a connection where an attachment creates in us the fear of losing something, while a connection gives and receives at the same time, feeding your soul.

 

 

 

“Renew, release, let go. Yesterday’s gone. There’s nothing you can do to bring it back. You can’t “should’ve” done something. You can only DO something. Renew yourself. Release that attachment. Today is a new day!” – Steve Maraboli

 

 

 

So what to do then? Free yourself from any attachment. Don’t limit yourself thinking that you can’t have a life, that you can’t be happy or successful if you don’t posses a certain thing, if you are not with a special person, if you are not doing a special thing, or if you not live in a certain place. If you have come to the place you are now, it is not because of someone or something, it’s because of you. You are the creator of your own life, therefore, if there is someone you need to depend on, it’s yourself. Without you, there is nothing, so don’t seek somewhere else what you have to seek within yourself.

A connection, a special bond between you and what you like and love is inevitable, it is not avoiding that connection what we should seek to achieve, but not depending on it to survive. We should not let our attachment confuse us, believing that we need someone or something in order to be happy, having the idea that those things, that job, that place, that situation or relationship is the determining factor of our happiness. A job, a career, a place, any material thing, a person, or a special situation can bring us joy and happiness, but those feelings should never be conditioned for the lack of those things.

 

 

 

“Detachment is not that you should own nothing, but that nothing should own you.” – Ali ibn abi Talib

 

 

 

There is nothing greater thing than being free, and the freedom that we obtain by letting go of attachment is something that truly benefits us. So the key is not in being cold, without feelings, but learning to love, without needing anything in return, being free to be whoever you want, and do whatever you want without being limited from any attachment. The most important thing is living in the moment, whatever happened in the past cannot be changed, whatever will happen in the future didn’t happen yet, so why ruining your life by being attached to a past that is gone or to a future that hasn’t arrived yet? Life changes all the time, knowing that nothing is permanent, living in the moment, and cutting the ropes to any attachment is the key for a happy life.

 

 

 

 

Give to your passions, give to every people, and give to everything you want the power of your love, but do not give them the power to destroy you! Learn to let go of attachment, and give yourself the gift of living a happy life!

Lack of Empathy: The Murderer of our Humanity?

Our lack of empathy, that is to say, our lack of ability to recognize and understand the feelings of another, is killing the humanity that is left in our society. Everything that is happening in the world just made me realize one thing: We have learned nothing.

 

"Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?" - Henry David Thoreau #empathy

 

Our own world has been the witness of our own destruction through the years. For years the human beings has been fighting for different reasons, most of them has been the cause of our own separation, where most of the time was generated through the efforts of those who govern us, who have always planted seeds of hate in human hearts, only to satisfy their own ambitious and selfish needs.

Through the years, all those people, the ones with the power, have taken the time to think the best way to control the whole world, and the best plan was launched: Separating people from each other by Nationality, Race, Gender and Religion and voilà! Here goes the most brilliant and evil plan of all times: People just hate and kill each other all by themselves. They took us our ability to think, and we became their slaves. Therefore, this caused one thing: hatred increased while love declined, which caused our lack of empathy, and the creators of such amazing plan? Well, they have always won the game.

 

 

 

“The secret of freedom lies in educating people, whereas the secret of tyranny is in keeping them ignorant.” – Maximilien Robespierre

 

 

 

So, what is empathy? The dictionary says that empathy is: The ability to understand and share the feelings of another. Therefore, how can our lack of empathy be the murderer of our humanity? Simple: if we can’t understand what someone else is feeling, if we can’t put ourselves in some else’s shoes or at least try to feel what that person is feeling, then there is no way we can feel the sadness and suffering from others, what will either cause our disinterest in the suffering of others, generating our inaction, or it will make us act in an evil way against others, being unable to understand and share their suffering.

Therefore, when we lack empathy, everything that makes us humans disappears, because where there is no love, hatred thrives, and it is in that moment when all the worst atrocities happen. We destroy our planet, our nature, we kill all animals, we poison every ocean, lake and river, we cut all our trees, and we hate and kill each other without mercy and compassion and everything thanks to our lack of empathy and lack of love.

 

 

 

“Hatred does not cease by hatred, but only by love; this is the eternal rule.” – Buddha

 

 

 

What is happening with the refugees is a clear example of our lack of empathy. In the last few days I read articles and comments from people from all countries around the world about immigration and refugees enough to make me sick. Our lack of empathy and our dehumanization is evident, there is no way we can hide the fact that we became so individualistic, that we don’t care anything about anyone except ourselves. The mere thought that someone with a different culture, religion or language will come to our little fantasy world were everything seems to be fine drives us crazy; taking out the worst in us, when it should be the other way around, since we do not own the world.

That’s why in the beginning I said that we have learned nothing. Why? Well, if we compare our past history and our present moment we can see that every death, every suffering, pain and fight from the past, and every human who have fought to restore the peace have taught us nothing, or in better words, we didn’t want to learn and so, we repeat those destructive behaviors from our past over and over again.

 

 

 

“Those who do not remember the past are condemned to repeat it.” – George Santayana

 

 

 

I wonder if there is any way we can revert the destiny of our humanity. I dare to say – Yes, there is, and the cure to all evil is love. The seeds of hate have been planted thousands of years ago, but that doesn’t mean that love is already extinct, because love will never die, but we have to plant love once again, wherever we go, to everyone we can. Without love humanity cannot survive, and our existence will be condemned by our own actions.

We are all human beings, no matter our nationality, religion, language, race, or culture and that means we all have the same rights, where the right to live counts as the most fundamental of all, we are all the same and we are all one. Every person should be treated as a human, not matter where they come from. Everything that happens to another may someday happen to us.

 

 

 

Let’s restore our humanity, let’s recover our empathy, and with love and compassion let’s help other humans in need. We could be them, so let’s be kind and have respect, and in return we will have everything anyone can ask for: a world full of love and peace.