Tag Archives: Fear

Learning to Let Go of Attachment

Most of our struggles come from our attachment to things, people, situations and many other things. The problem is we become dependent on those things in order to survive, putting ourselves in a place of extreme vulnerability. In the case that we lose what we are attached to, a life of distress and struggle is inevitable. Therefore, to avoid so much suffering, we must detach ourselves from everything that we can lose, and free ourselves from any attachment.

 

 The root of suffering is attachment. Buddha

 

 

Living attached to places, things, people, jobs, situations, and any other thing is the key to a life of struggle. I know, it sounds pretty extreme, but the truth is, the more attached we are, the more we suffer, because the more attached we are, the more we fear, and the more we fear, the more we suffer. We depend so much in something, that the merely idea of losing it tears our heart apart. The problem is when our happiness lasts as long as the things we are attached to do not change, do not transform in something else, or cease to exist.

Every attachment limits us, submits us, controls us, and completely dominates us. It limits us because it doesn’t let us be completely ourselves, because sometimes being ourselves would mean the inevitable loss of that we are attached to, submits us because it makes us do certain things in order to avoid losing it, it controls us because it makes us behave in a special way, and dominates us because all our existence depends on the lasting of the things we are attached to.

 

 

 

“Most of our troubles are due to our passionate desire for and attachment to things that we misapprehend as enduring entities.” – Dalai Lama

 

 

 

Does that mean that we can’t have any kind of feelings? Can’t we love, or be passionate about something, or like something very much? How can we be happy if we can’t just simply be humans? Well, that’s the thing, we are humans, we feel, and that is the beauty to be alive. Having all those wonderful emotions makes us feel alive, and gives meaning to our lives. The problem starts when we become dependents of relationships, material goods, jobs, places, outcomes or situation in order to keep feeling the way we feel.

Therefore, it is not feeling in a special way about someone or something the problem, because the problem is when our happiness depends on that. If the lack of something or someone or if the change of something in our lives creates suffering in us, then is our attachment what is truly bringing us sorrow, it is not love, or the passion we have about something, but is our dependence, our attachment . There is something worth remembering and that is the difference between attachment and a connection where an attachment creates in us the fear of losing something, while a connection gives and receives at the same time, feeding your soul.

 

 

 

“Renew, release, let go. Yesterday’s gone. There’s nothing you can do to bring it back. You can’t “should’ve” done something. You can only DO something. Renew yourself. Release that attachment. Today is a new day!” – Steve Maraboli

 

 

 

So what to do then? Free yourself from any attachment. Don’t limit yourself thinking that you can’t have a life, that you can’t be happy or successful if you don’t posses a certain thing, if you are not with a special person, if you are not doing a special thing, or if you not live in a certain place. If you have come to the place you are now, it is not because of someone or something, it’s because of you. You are the creator of your own life, therefore, if there is someone you need to depend on, it’s yourself. Without you, there is nothing, so don’t seek somewhere else what you have to seek within yourself.

A connection, a special bond between you and what you like and love is inevitable, it is not avoiding that connection what we should seek to achieve, but not depending on it to survive. We should not let our attachment confuse us, believing that we need someone or something in order to be happy, having the idea that those things, that job, that place, that situation or relationship is the determining factor of our happiness. A job, a career, a place, any material thing, a person, or a special situation can bring us joy and happiness, but those feelings should never be conditioned for the lack of those things.

 

 

 

“Detachment is not that you should own nothing, but that nothing should own you.” – Ali ibn abi Talib

 

 

 

There is nothing greater thing than being free, and the freedom that we obtain by letting go of attachment is something that truly benefits us. So the key is not in being cold, without feelings, but learning to love, without needing anything in return, being free to be whoever you want, and do whatever you want without being limited from any attachment. The most important thing is living in the moment, whatever happened in the past cannot be changed, whatever will happen in the future didn’t happen yet, so why ruining your life by being attached to a past that is gone or to a future that hasn’t arrived yet? Life changes all the time, knowing that nothing is permanent, living in the moment, and cutting the ropes to any attachment is the key for a happy life.

 

 

 

 

Give to your passions, give to every people, and give to everything you want the power of your love, but do not give them the power to destroy you! Learn to let go of attachment, and give yourself the gift of living a happy life!

When Our World Trembles: Facing Changes

Changes are part of life and at some point in our lives we are going to face them. Changes are hard to digest even when we have been looking for them, the problem is we are afraid of changes because we fear the unknown, and when a change appears, our world trembles. Therefore, we are going to have two options: We can face them and dance at the rhythm of tremor, or hide and let the tremor bury us.

 

"The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance." - Alan Watts

 

Many times in our lives we are going to face different types of changes, some of them will be created by us and others will be created for us. The first ones are the easiest to digest, because most of them are the result of our own wishes, and they happened because we have let them happen, they are created by us, voluntarily, through our own decisions and actions, but the second ones are the ones that we do not look for, they suddenly appear, unexpectedly, without calling.

All changes destabilize us and make our world shake. The reason is because they force us to leave the shore and enter into unknown waters, they push us away from our comfort zone and destabilize us. But once we face them, we challenge them, and it’s in that moment when we ignite the spark that makes our heart burn, giving us power and strength to cope with the new changes in our lives and change our lives.

 

 

 

“All change is hard at first, messy in the middle and gorgeous at the end.” – Robin Sharma

 

 

 

Changes are often inevitable, sometimes because there is no other option, there is no another alternative, there is no escape, and we cannot avoid them. They appear, they are real, and we can either accept them and succeed or fight an already lost battle. Why a lost battle? Because when an unexpectedly change has taken place we cannot avoid it, and the only way to walk out victorious is to keep moving forward. Resisting to changes will only lead us to defeat.

Therefore, whether we face a change we have created ourselves or an unexpectedly change, we have to accept it first, whether we like it or not, but this doesn’t mean we have to settle. If the new change is not to our liking, then we have to think the way to create the change that we do like to happen in our lives and make it happen. We cannot fight with the past; we cannot fight with what already happened, but we can do everything we can in order to create the future we want.

 

 

 

“It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.” – Leon C. Megginson

 

 

 

The first and most important thing you will have to know in order to face any change in your life is that nothing will remain as it is. The world is constantly moving, and changes happen all the time. There will be those that we will create ourselves and those that will just happen without calling, but we must know that changes are in our favor and not against us. They may not look like that but in the end they will be a benefit for us if we give them the opportunity. Changes make us change, and that is the purpose of the changes that happen in our lives, because they make us grow, they make us stronger and develop the potential hidden in ourselves.

 

 

 

Let the changes happen, and face them with courage and confidence, knowing that you have the power to create the life you want. With faith in God, in yourself and in life, keep moving at the rhythm of your changes, close your eyes and keep on dancing!

Challenges are Opportunities in Disguise

Challenges are opportunities in disguise, they seem to be against us but in fact they are on our side. Challenges are opportunities that life gives us so we can become the best version of ourselves, they release the greatness and power that lies in all of us which we don’t even know we had.

 “Being challenged in life is inevitable, being defeated is optional.” - Roger Crawford

 

Challenges are opportunities perfectly disguised as obstacles, and that’s why most of the time we see them as something that is against us, but challenges are given to us by life for a special purpose, they have a reason to exist, and they hold a treasure within. Challenges have the power to change us, because they push us so close to the edge that we have no choice but to jump into the unknown.

It was in that particular moment, when we were plummeting into the ground, when we found our biggest strength, and so what seemed to be the end of everything, was actually the beginning of a completely new life. It was in that moment of chaos when you found a treasure hidden within you, because while you were falling down, you suddenly opened your arms, and they became wings, and so you learned to fly and you reborn again as a new person.

 

 

 

“We were all born with a certain degree of power. The key to success is discovering this innate power and using it daily to deal with whatever challenges come our way.” – Les Brown

 

 

 

It’s normal to feel overwhelmed by the different challenges that life gives us, and that is why it is so easy to surrender to them. Normally, when we face a new challenge, we rapidly seek an escape, we look for an alternative route, we seek the easy way out and we call that “success” which in fact is not more than another way to surrender, because the only way to be successful is by facing our easy and sometimes difficult challenges.

Challenges are an important part of life; they mean that we have left our comfort zone towards the unknown, and is in that place where everything can be possible. Challenges give a special meaning to our normal life, they make us grow, and they change us for the better. After facing a challenge, we never keep being the same person we were before it, because challenges change us, or in other words, they bring to light the power and strength that was deeply hidden somewhere within ourselves.

 

 

 

“Life’s challenges are not supposed to paralyze you; they’re supposed to help you discover who you are.” Bernice Johnson Reagon

 

 

 

Challenges are opportunities to improve yourself, and there is a great feeling that comes to your heart when you come out victorious of them. It doesn’t matter how small or how big the challenge is, it always makes you a better person than you were before, and the reward you get out of them is extraordinary. There is a great sense of happiness that spreads throughout your body when you overcome those things that you once thought you couldn’t, but to get to that moment you first need to face the challenges, even if you feel powerless and hopeless.

In my life I faced many challenges, for instance this blog. Writing a blog without any experience and decide to write it in English in order to reach more people, even though my first language is Spanish was a huge challenge for me. My first thought was to give up, because I was afraid of many things, for example not being able to write well in English, and the possible opinions of others really freaked me out. My second thought was to write the blog only in Spanish, but that would mean taking the easy way out, and therefore I decided to face the challenge of becoming a blogger and write in English, and after 9 months here I am, happier than ever and feeling stronger than ever before. I faced my fears, I overcame the challenge, and I improved myself, especially my English. 🙂

 

 

Embrace your challenges; embrace the opportunity that life gives you through challenges, so you can become a better version of yourself. Face them without fear, and let them release the greatness within you!

Victims of expectation

Expectations

 

We are victims of expectation; the big problem of everything is not the problem itself, but rather our expectation about everything. Everything we say and do is accompanied by an expectation, and that is why sometimes our results are not as we wanted them to be, what it creates all the unnecessary sadness in ourselves.

 

Like I said before, we are victims of expectation, and that is why we’ll be disappointed over and over again, until we finally give up and lose, because if you are not careful, and if you don’t learn how to control it, expectations will always win, and if we get to that point where we let our expectations to win, then we get to the point where everything we want, every dream, every wish, every opportunity to make all of that become a reality, completely disappears.

 

After we have had a lot of results that haven’t met our expectations, We get to that place called disappointment, a place where we found unhappiness and sadness, and once you get to that place, it is really hard to get out from it, because after being there, Your actions will only be based on that, you will not have more expectations or at least good expectations, and you neither will have any vision of your dream.

 

“Expectation feeds frustration. It is an unhealthy attachment to people, things, and outcomes we wish we could control; but don’t.” – Steve Maraboli

 

Because once you are the victim of your own expectations, having as a result nothing more than disappointment, then you will walk your path with fear and doubts, having the belief that you shouldn’t have more expectations about anything, because not everything is possible, so your reality is going to look like that, and from now on you will face everything without enthusiasm, believing that it cannot end well based on your past experiences, and that belief will create your reality, and nothing will be like you have wanted it to be.

 

The problem with expectation, is that we have it because we actually need something. what it makes us be very attached to it, so we choose in first place something for what can give us, in order to satisfy that necessity, so if we don’t get what we want, we’ll be disappointed, and if we are disappointed, we stop believing, we lose faith and we forget about hope, so we accept a life of disappointment, sadness and suffering.

 

“Expectation is the root of all heartache” – William Shakespeare

 

So what we have to do, in order to be always happy without depending on the results, is not having more expectations, but what we have to do is make a decision according to what we feel and want in that moment without needing anything, giving all the best we can give, being happy, even if the result is not what we wanted, because we just decided to do something, because in that moment was what we wanted, not because we wanted to get something out of it.

 

Expectations give nothing more than disappointment, visualization gives nothing more than achievement. So what we have to do is to never forget whatever we want for our life, using the power of visualization, knowing that what we want exists and that sooner or later we are going to get that, forgetting any kind of expectation and being free to do, give and feel whatever we want.

 

“When you release expectations, you are free to enjoy things for what they are instead of what you think they should be” – Mandy Hale 

 

Remember that everything you give is a demonstration of what you already have, as we cannot give what we lack and we cannot receive what we don’t give. So everything you give, you will receive it back, multiplied.

 

So every time you want to have a new relationship, or get a new job, or anything you want to get, or achieve in your life, first you have to see your goal in your mind, and truly believe that is possible and that is a fact, and not having expectations, because you don’t need something, you already have it or you will have it, because you believe that!

 

“Trade Your Expectation to Appreciation and the World Changes Instantly” – Tony Robbins 

 

Walk your path fearless and doubtless, with confidence, truly believing that if something is meant to you, it will be at the best time for you. So do anything you want and feel, say whatever you want, think whatever you want to think, and above all love everyone around you without expecting anything in return, and I can guarantee that you will find true freedom and happiness.