Tag Archives: Choice

The Habit of Making Excuses

We limit ourselves and sabotage our own dreams, goals and desires by making excuses. Our own excuses create barriers between us and our dreams, pushing away from us everything we have always wanted. Therefore, if we want to make our dreams come true, we must begin by leaving the habit of making excuses.

 

“Ninety-nine percent of the failures come from people who have the habit of making excuses.” - George Washington Carver 

Every day we have a new excuse for not doing the things we have always wanted to do. We convince ourselves through the excuses we make, as a way of having a justification for not following the path that will lead us to the realization of our dreams and goals. They condemn us to live a life we do not like, and the worst part of all is that we believe that those excuses are valid, blaming them for our failure, when in fact, we are the cause of our own failure.

Why do we make so many excuses? Why do we punish ourselves in such a way? Why do we condemn ourselves to live a life we do not like? Why we refuse to live the kind of life that will bring us everything we have been searching for? Simple: because it is easier that way. It is easier to make an excuse and do nothing, than to do all the things we have to do in order to achieve our desired goals and make all our dreams come true.

 

 

 

“If you really want to do something, you’ll find a way. If you don’t, you’ll find an excuse.” – Jim Rohn

 

 

 

By making excuses we chose the easy way out, and with easy I do not mean the less painful. Because it is painful to work hard in order to achieve our goals, but it is more painful to be stuck in a life we do not want, doing things we do not like, and it is even more painful to know that we are the reason why we haven’t done the things we have always wanted to do. It is hard to recognize that in the end no one is more responsible than us of our own failure.

I constantly hear people saying things like: I don’t have enough money, I don’t have time, my family won’t allow it, I don’t have the resources, I have to work, it is too hard, I’m too tired, I don’t have the knowledge, I have to look after my kids, I’m too old, I’m too young, my wife/husband/mother/father will not approve it, I have many things to do, and so on. Have you ever heard something like that? I guess so. I heard those words from many people, even from myself. We are constantly making excuses and we believe they are valid, and under the phrase: “I am not making excuses; I’m just being realistic” we justify ourselves.

 

 

 

“The only thing standing between you and your goal is the bullshit story you keep telling yourself as to why you can’t achieve it.” – Jordan Belfort

 

 

 

The truth is nothing can limit us, except our own personal thoughts. There is always a way to do something, and most of the time it won’t be easy, it won’t be simple, but it will be worth it. Therefore, in order to achieve our goals and make our dreams become a reality we must stop the habit of making excuses. If you want to be successful, if you want to achieve your goals, you will have to stop looking for excuses, and start looking for solutions. If other people are doing what you would like to do, if someone is living the life of your dreams, if somebody else has achieved what you would like to achieved, is not because they have been lucky, but because they have quit the habit of making excuses. They have decided to do whatever it takes to make their dreams become a reality, and you as well can do the same.

Stop thinking for a second the reasons why you can’t do something, and think as if everything was possible. What will you be doing now? What can you do right now that will get you closer to the place you want to be? What would be the right steps that will make you achieve your goals?

 

 

 

I know from my own experience how wonderful it is to do the things I once thought I couldn’t do. It always looks impossible, until it’s done. Anyway, what can happen if you try? Take responsibility for your life, and either find a way or create a way, and live the life you have imagined!

Life is Made Up of Choices

Life is made up of choices. In every single step of our lives we have the opportunity to choose. We create our world through the choices we make, therefore, our whole life is the result of the choices we have made. The main choice in our life is between choosing to feel good or to feel bad. Therefore, what are you going to choose today?

 "May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears." - Nelson Mandela

 

Every day we are faced with different types of choices and according to what we choose is the consequence we are going to have. There are some kind of circumstances that we are not able to control, these type of circumstances are inevitable, and there is no way we can choose the opposite, and then we have the other circumstances, those which are the results of the choices we have made. But no matter the type of circumstances, we will always have the opportunity to choose. Whatever happens to us, we have the choice to feel good or to feel bad.

The first kind of circumstances, those which we cannot avoid, are the kind of circumstances which we are not responsible for. For example, the death of a loved one. One day, we receive the awful notice that a person close to us has died. There is no way we could have done something to revert that situation. That circumstance is something that happened to us without calling it, therefore, we are not responsible for that, but we are responsible of one thing: the decision of choosing whether to let that circumstance to destroy us or not.

 

 

 

“When you wake up every day, you have two choices. You can either be positive or negative; an optimist or a pessimist. I choose to be an optimist. It’s all a matter of perspective.” – Harvey Mackay

 

 

When an inevitable and unwanted circumstance happens we cannot choose another circumstance, another ending, or another story. There is no way we can go back in time and do something to revert what has happened. But when something like that happens we have different choices to make: We can either choose to let that situation to destroy us, or we can choose to keep fighting. We can choose to give up or we can choose to move on. We can choose to see the negative side or we can choose to see the positive side. We can choose to let the pain, anger and sadness we feel to consume us, or we can choose love to heal our hearts. We can choose to keep the poison running through our veins, rotting us on the inside, or we can choose to drain it all out, and clean our body and soul with love.

On the other hand, we have the kind of circumstances that are the results of the choices we have made. For example, when we have failed an exam because we have chosen not to study, or when we felt stomach ache because we have chosen to eat junk food instead of healthy food, or when somebody got cancer because he didn’t want to stop smoking, or when you have lost your partner because you have chosen to betray rather than love, or when we decided to live a life we do not want because we have chosen not to follow our dreams.

 

 

 

“It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped.” – Tony Robbins

 

 

When a circumstance of that kind happens, we can wish to have done something different but we cannot change what we have done. We are responsible for that, and we must take full responsibility, but at the same time we can make different choices: We can choose to not do anything about it, or we can choose to act. We can choose to let that situation to paralyze us or we can choose to move forward. We can choose to give up or we can choose to do our best to revert the situation, change the situation or accept the situation and move on. We can choose to see the negative side or we can choose to see the positive side. We can choose to feel negative emotions and let them to control us or we can choose to feel positive emotions. We can choose to keep looking to our past with sadness, pain, and anger or we can choose to look into our future with courage, commitment and confidence.

As you can see we cannot always change the situation, but we can always choose how we are going to deal with what has happened. We are responsible of our own choices, and we have always the opportunity to choose to feel good or to feel bad. According to what we do, what we say, what feel, and what we think in relationship with was has happened is what is going to determine our future.  We can choose to be positive and feel good or we can choose to be negative and feel bad. We can always choose to be sad or we can choose to be happy no matter what happens.

 

 

 

“In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

 

 

Always remember that not everything that will happen to you will be the consequence of your own choices, but at the same time, always remember that every choice you make today will have either a short-term or a long-term consequence in your life.  If you feel that your choices are not getting you closer to the place you want to be, or if you feel that they are not making you feel the way you want to feel, or if you feel that they are not making you be the person you would like to be, it is time for you to make a choice.

You can choose to keep making the same kind of negative choices, leaving everything to chance, or you can choose to stop and make the best possible choices, being the creator of your own destiny. Your happiness depends on the choices you make. If you feel happy, is probably because you are doing the right choices, but if you are not, you are probably doing the wrong ones. Everything is impossible until we make the choice to make the impossible possible.

 

 

 

Our life is the result of our choices, and we are what we choose to be. Everything is a choice, so no matter what happens to you, always make the choice to be happy today, tomorrow and always!

The pursuit of happiness – Part II

Happiness is a treasure that every human being on this earth seeks to find. Fortunately for all of us, happiness is not something exclusive for the minority but it’s something everyone can have. The problem is our lack of understanding of happiness which has given us wrong ideas about what really means and how can be achieved.

 "The happiest people seem to be those who have no particular reason for being happy except that they are so." - William Ralph Inge #happiness

 

Defining Happiness

 

In my previous post I asked different questions, which can be very helpful to understand and define happiness, because in order to achieve true happiness we must understand it, so we can define better what it really means, because if you possess the knowledge about something, but you can’t understand it in full, then you will never know how it works, which will result in the inability to experience it in the best way possible. For instance, you can have the knowledge of how to ride a bike but if you don’t completely understand how it works, you won’t be able to experience riding a bike.

So we already started asking questions about happiness, we no longer accept the story that someone told us about happiness as being something that can be found in the outside world, we all have experience happiness through external factors but we want more, we want a deeper sense of happiness. Therefore, we have questions, because we want to know the secret of happiness and we want to be truly happy now and forever. That’s why are you here, isn’t it? So let’s get started!

 

 

 

“Happiness is the only sanction of life; where happiness fails, existence remains a mad and lamentable experiment.” – George Santayana

 

 

 

As I wrote in my previous post, happiness according to the dictionary means “the feeling of being happy” and to be happy means “to be delighted or glad over a particular thing” and the etymological meaning of happiness means “good fortune” but how can I explain exactly what it means? The truth is I can’t, because as I wrote before, happiness has as meanings as people on this planet, if you ask ten people from all over the world in one day for one week – What is happiness for you? You will have 70 different answers, where you’ll agree with some of them and others you won’t.

The truth is we all want to be happy but we all have different ideas of what happiness means, so every book you read, every person you listen to will have a different meaning of it. The society in which we live, our family, friends and our culture are key factors, which determine our ideas of happiness. We are being most of the time influenced by our environment, which in most cases defines our beliefs about happiness, and it’s there where we can find the problem, because we accept happiness as a concept created by someone else, such as the idea that money is equal to success and those together gives as result happiness. And so we seek money to be happy and when we have it, we want more and that happens with many other aspects of our lives where we look for happiness everywhere else except in ourselves, and my friends, there is the key for a long-term happiness – True happiness can only be found in oneself.

 

 

 

“Happiness is a conscious choice, not an automatic response.” – Mildred Barthel

 

 

 

So you may be wondering – Okay all of this is very nice but I need the meaning of happiness, I need to know what happiness means, so I can experience it! Well, the answer for a long-term happiness can be found within your heart. You must find your own meaning of happiness, you must find what gives your life a purpose and that way you will be forever happy, your heart already knows the answer, you just need to listen to it without being influenced by external factors. The true meaning of happiness is the meaning you choose to give it, if you haven’t found it yet, must be because you have been always looking in a place outside of you.

The truth is – the recipe for a long-term happiness lies within ourselves, and so it cannot be found somewhere else, and it cannot be found in our past or in a future, because is not a place where we can get or something we can find, happiness is merely a choice, regardless our external circumstances, it is something you choose every second of your life, and your thoughts about something is what makes you happy, not the situation itself. Happiness is the way you see life, we all have different glasses through which we see the world, and according to what we see, and to our beliefs is what we are going to define as happiness. True happiness is when you see the world through positive lenses, being grateful for every single thing you see, choosing to be happy rather than rely on external factors to be so.

 

 

Happiness is real and exists within you, for that reason a long-term happiness is possible, nobody can take it from you except yourself. Happiness is the simple choice to be grateful for every little thing you have and for every circumstance of your life. Choose to be happy now and forever!